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Fleeing domestic abuse can be terrifying and challenging, but an Alberta woman who broke free decades ago is sharing her experience with shelters in hopes it will help other women facing similar situations.
“I understand what they are going through,” said Sage Cardinal, who has worked at WIN House since April 1999.
For women who are escaping violence, Cardinal is a calming presence at the women’s shelter in Edmonton — partly because she understands better than most people what the women are going through.
“I saw it everywhere around me when I was younger,” she said, adding she didn’t have a mom and grew up living with her siblings, where she witnessed domestic violence regularly.
She became conditioned to it.
“It feels like a nightmare that keeps fading away — it doesn’t feel like that was my life.”
She met her ex-husband when she was 15, and at just 18 years old, Cardinal said she was pressured to get married by both her family and her partner.
She had five kids and for more than a decade, didn’t realize she was being abused.
“I thought that everybody’s husband treated them like that, I didn’t realize that is not appropriate,” she said.
“I didn’t think it was wrong.”
Cardinal told a therapist what was happening at home and that’s when she went to her first shelter.
It took three times before she was able to leave her partner permanently and take on the daunting task of being a single parent.
“I was with him for a very, very long time — I was in my 30s when I got away for good,” she said. “Being a single mom was very hard. There wasn’t as much awareness about domestic violence and not as many agencies to access the supports.”
Cardinal ended up at WIN House, which has been around for 55 years.
“Being in a shelter was really nice because I knew nobody could come and bother my children.”
It wasn’t easy, but Cardinal raised her kids and went to university — things she said would have been impossible if she’d stayed with her ex.
“I did get an education and things I wasn’t able to do inside the relationship — I hadn’t been able to do anything outside of the home (before).”
In 1999, she landed a job at the same place that helped her get on her feet.
“WIN House is the place where I got the opportunity to help people, other people that have been in the same situation.”
Cardinal has worked at the shelter for more than two decades but until now, hasn’t shared her story so publicly.
“I tried to not make it about me, even when people were talking to me, even if I was getting triggered…. I would go to therapy, to talk to the therapist — I rarely disclosed the abuse to anybody.”
But now, she is opening up, realizing doing so can make a difference.
“If I share my story, maybe it can help a woman going through the same thing break free — that they can go out on their own, and accomplish a lot on their own.
“Everyone deserves to live a life free of abuse.”
Thousands of women and children flee domestic violence every year and that number is only growing.
The demand for help and need for space is at the highest it has been in a decade, according to the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters.
A report released Monday said from April 2022 to the end of March 2023, there were more than 59,000 calls for help answered by the shelters, which is a 10-year high.
The report said about 8,400 people, an increase of 19 per cent, received help at shelters and almost half of those people were children.
Shelters could not, however, accommodate another 30,000 requests for admission, which is also the highest number in the past decade, due to the lack of shelter space and growing complex needs of some survivors.
“We are basically at capacity all of the time,” said Britni Brady with WIN House. “We received 2,800 calls right here and 1,900 of those we had to turn away.”
She also spoke about the increase in complex cases.
“A lot of that comes down to the pandemic and lasting effects of that, complex cases when it comes to addiction and mental health. Things are a lot different than what they were.”
The ACWS report also revealed a decade high in reports of forced sex and strangulation, which the council said increases the risk of being killed by 750 per cent.
“Abuse has no boundaries, it impacts everybody — it doesn’t matter your socio-economic status, your gender, your race, it affects us all.”
Jan Reimer, executive director of the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters, said shelters have faced stagnant budgets since 2015 alongside ballooning costs and population growth. All the shelters are calling for increased aid from the province.
“The numbers speak for themselves, the need is so high and it’s just going to continue, and we are not the only shelter to see those numbers it’s across the entire province,” Brady said.
Global Edmonton’s annual Give Me Shelter campaign aims to help those women and children fleeing domestic violence.
The campaign provides gift cards and money to six Edmonton-area shelters. This is the 20th year of the campaign.
Brady said such initiatives not only bring hope during the holidays, but also put focus on how dire the situation is. She noted that this year, there are also additional challenges with the increasing cost of living.
“I think being able to see who it affects and that it can affect anybody, sharing your story can just help others.”
How you can help
The Give Me Shelter campaign will be collecting gift cards and online monetary donations until Dec. 14.
To donate gift cards, we have set up a donation box at the front entrance of Global Edmonton (5325 Allard Way N.W.)
Online donations can be made by visiting our website: Globalnews.ca/givemeshelter.
We will also be holding a donation drive-thru day on Wednesday, Dec. 13 outside Global Edmonton from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Global News TV and radio personalities will be standing curbside to collect donations that day.
All donations will be divided evenly among six participating Edmonton and area shelters:
Jessie’s House
Win House
WINGS
A Safe Place
LaSalle Residence
Lurana Shelter
Not in Edmonton? There are many women’s shelters throughout Alberta that need your support this holiday season. Consider a donation to the shelters in your area. Go to ACWS.ca to find a shelter in your community.