Let’s face it: parenting in the age of social media can be overwhelming. There are umpteen parenting blogs and forums. Post one question or comment and you’ll get a deluge of opinions; some are productive and helpful, others demean you, make you assess your ability as a parent and question humanity in general.
Disheartened by the judgemental tone in some of the discussions on her community mom’s Facebook group, Alberta mom Joelle Weisbeck recently decided to shift the conversation.
“I would like to try an experiment,” Weisbeck wrote. “My backstory – I became a mom 13 years ago and I have three busy, sometimes challenging boys. I have felt judged and marginalized that I didn’t always make the best parenting decisions. But I have also formed lifelong friendships with some amazing moms.
“I propose that we post our #momfail…ultimately, the goal is have us all understand that we make the same mistakes and that is OK. The more participation, the better this will work.”
READ MORE: The biggest parenting fails and wins of 2016
Weisbeck started first, sharing that she once fed her son popcorn for supper (I bet he would call that a #momwin). She also admitted to feeling like a bad mom when her nine-month-old son pulled a glass shelf down, shattering it into a million pieces.
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“I couldn’t prevent it so a lot of guilt and a lot of feeling like I’m alone.”
Soon after sharing, she saw that she wasn’t. The responses starting flooding in. For mother-of-two Brandi Gruninger a few mom fails came to mind.
“My nine-year-old son made his own smoothie for breakfast. He left for school and I later found his smoothie in his travel cup. He had forgotten it. I thought about getting dressed and taking it to him at school, thinking that he would be hungry, but nope, I drank it!”
READ MORE: Woman’s post about mom-shaming goes viral
There was also an experience at the Calgary Zoo several years ago. Her 12-year-old daughter remembers it to this day.
“We sat down next to the smelly elephants and I made her eat the hot dog and drink the pop. She was saying she wasn’t hungry… five minutes later we moved on to the lions — which was the highlight of the trip — and she projectile vomited all over the place in the middle of a huge crowd of people, all over their pants. Apparently she had a really bad tummy virus and was sick the whole rest of the day.”
READ MORE: Father-of-4 rants about parenting, saying ‘this is the worst hobby’
Amy East’s so-called mom fail still makes her shake her head.
“When each of my older boys were in preschool, I forgot on at least one occasion to pick them up. The teacher had to call me.”
Weisbeck said sharing her mom fails made her feel more free and less isolated.
“Just really celebrating the fact that we’re all parenting together, we’re moms together and we fail sometimes and sometimes we feel horrible guilt and we judge ourselves. But I really wanted this post to be about how we can come together and we can share these experiences and say, ‘You know, our children are doing great and it’s OK if we make mistakes.'”
It would only be appropriate for me to share my own.
For a solid month, our two-year-old son would say, “F*ck!” and look at me or his dad for a reaction. I was flabbergasted and couldn’t fathom where he would hear that word. It was only while muttering naughty words under my breath during morning rush hour traffic that I realized where it came from. Oops.
What’s your mom fail or dad fail? I would love to hear it. You can join the (supportive) conversation here.
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