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Jaquita Gladstone left Bella Bella, B.C. at 16 years old, moved to Vancouver and eventually wound up in the Downtown Eastside (DTES).
“I lost 11 years living down there … I got into the wrong crowd … I went through a few schools, alternative schools, adult education schools and just dropped out,” said Gladstone.
“I got too drunk (one night) when someone taught me how to use and that’s all it took.”
Her ‘using,’ she said, was mostly opioids.
“I knew when I came-to, out of my blackout, instantly and started crying because I was like ‘I’m stuck’ – I knew from that moment I was stuck.”
Now, having been sober for over four years, the Haíłzaqv woman is sharing her sobriety journey on TikTok in hopes those who are in similar situations to hers will see her and think they can do it too.
“I notice a big difference (in myself),” said Gladstone. “I was looking at photos last night of how different I was, that’s not even me, I don’t recognize that person anymore.”
And that’s the sort of content she shares online – before and after photos, decreasing dosage and how medication-assisted treatment saved her life.
The micro-influencer recently lost her account with more than 12,400 followers and is hoping to build up her new account.
Gladstone made the decision to get sober after having to revive her partner.
“I had to revive my significant other a bunch of times when fentanyl came into play,” she said. “For a long time, it was just untainted and as soon as certain things got pulled off the market … a lot of it got really messy.”
“Reviving somebody seven times and a bunch of other random friends and (there was) just nobody left. I was fortunate enough to not have overdosed.”
Gladstone’s recovery journey included medication-assisted treatment — also known as a methadone program. She started off at 14 milliliters of methadone and slowly decreased to 0.20 milliliters.
Medication-assisted treatment refers to any treatment for a substance use disorder that includes pharmacological intervention as part of the larger treatment plan.
After four years, she feels close to being able to cut it out completely.
“At the beginning, you have to go every day, so I set small goals because I asked, ‘How long do you have to present clean urine in order to be able to take it home?’ and they’re like three months. So that was my small goal,” she said.
“I was very determined to do it.”
She made the decision to leave Vancouver soon after deciding to get sober.
At the time Gladstone was living in an illegal rental unit with no hot water, no heat and an electric burner – she had to travel two hours every day in order to get her medication-assisted treatment and hated leaving her dogs.
“It didn’t work, it just didn’t work. And we just knew we had to get out of there – it was sink or swim,” she said.
Now, she lives on the Sunshine Coast with her partner and two dogs.
She’s been in Bella Bella, her community, since early January — only the second time since getting sober. The first time was for the community’s big house opening in 2019.
“I stayed away from Bella Bella from 2007 till 2019 in order not to expose our youth,” she said. “It shocked me how much they truly know.”
“We need to focus on our youth and making a positive impact in their lives.”
Gladstone said it was bottled-up trauma that led to her self-destructive ways and that being home has been healing but has also shown her the struggles youth have to endure.
“Growing up in a small isolated community with limited access even to local emergency services can be difficult,” she said. “And seeing addiction from the eyes of a past user is really a different point of view … I wish there was something that could be done.”
Wanting to help youth is part of what drew Gladstone to TikTok. After playing around on her iPad and having a few popular videos she saw the reach the app could have.
“I wanted to inspire others that they can do this … to spread awareness for youth,” she said. “I used to share my real photos of my roughest points and, like this is what it’ll do to you – clearly not fun.”
For a long time stories like Gladstone’s weren’t shared and Guy Felicella, a peer clinical advisor with the BC Centre on Substance Use and former DTES resident, said there’s a reason for that.
“It’s because of how society views substance use or how society would view addiction or people struggling,” said Felicella. “What I found in my own journey was that I was inspired by seeing people’s transformation of change.”
“The power of sharing that story for people is that it gives people hope and it gives people the belief that there is a possibility,” he said.
Felicella said that while recovery programs often promote anonymity and discourage people from talking about things, it’s important to share so people know they should never give up trying – it’s one of the reasons why he himself started speaking out.
It also helps break the stigma, Felicella said, and a huge part of removing stigma is also portraying it like it is — that drug addiction is happening everywhere — not just in the DTES.
“Another reason this stigma has been (around) for so long and why people don’t reach out for help is because there are consequences to reaching out for help,” said Felicella. “You could lose your job, you could lose your kids, (child welfare) gets involved – why would anybody actually reach out?”
Gladstone said since reaching out on TikTok, she’s received plenty of messages from strangers and even met up with some folks. She said it’s been important for her to be open about her journey, not just for others, but for herself.
“It’s been good because I’ve let go of a lot of things I couldn’t talk about because I can disassociate and be very secluded,” she said. “It has helped keep me on track.”
Now, well into her recovery journey, Gladstone hopes to go back to school and keep sharing her sobriety.