WARNING: This story deals with sensitive subject matter and may be upsetting to some readers. Discretion is advised.
A North Okanagan mother is speaking out about sexual assault and urging other parents to speak to their kids about consent.
She alleges her teen daughter was assaulted after bringing a fellow student home from school.
“I want to warn other parents that this is happening in our community,” she said. “Even though I’ve always told my child if this ever happens to you this is not OK, my daughter still didn’t feel comfortable enough to scream. I would like for families to come forward or kids that this is happening to, whether it be somebody they know (or) somebody they don’t know. It is not OK.”
Global News is not identifying the mom and has changed her voice in our television coverage to protect her family’s anonymity.
She says the alleged sexual assault occurred last week in the family home despite adults regularly checking in on the teens.
“My daughter was raped right under my nose in the most violent manner. I now suggest most people don’t bring new people into their homes. Take them and meet them in a neutral spot in a public place to get to know everybody that does then come to your home.”
An undertaking was issued requiring a young person to attend the courthouse later this month in relation to a sexual assault allegation but no charge has been formally laid.
None of the allegations have been proven in court.
Micki Materi co-executive director of Archway Society for Domestic Peace, a Vernon, B.C., society that offers services for people who have experienced sexual violence, says sexual assault among teens is common.
“People don’t always understand what consent means,” said Materi, commenting on the issue in general, not the specific North Okanagan case.
“Consent is something that has to be enthusiastically given, it can’t be given under (the) influence of drugs or alcohol, it can be taken and withdrawn at any time. It is a constant process of checking in with each other.”
Materi recommends parents start talking with their kids about consent early.
“It is an ongoing evolving conversation about consent and … ensuring that they are clear about their autonomy and their ability to say no. It is important to listen to our kids,” Materi said.
Materi said anyone looking for support or access to resources can call the coordinator of Archway’s sexual assault response program at 250-309-6733 or the society’s administration office at 250-558-3850.
Materi also provided some links to resources for parents: