ABOVE: Watch David Letterman deliver a Top Ten List about Donald Trump.
Some things are more important than retirement.
Although he’s been content since retiring as host of Late Show in May, Letterman called missing out on lampooning Trump’s White House bid “the biggest mistake of my life.”
Appearing with his pals Martin Short and Steve Martin at their live comedy show Friday night in San Antonio, he made up for lost time:
10. That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.
9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.
8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.
7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head!
6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for a delusional, bull… Oh, no, wait, that’s me.
5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne.
4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.
3. (tie) If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving. AND: That’s not a hairdo — it’s a wind advisory.
2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled, NO Amigos (a reference to the 1986 comedy, Three Amigos, that starred Short and Martin).
1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.