Parenting: Make every day matter

In his new book, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth, Chris Hadfield shares what being an astronaut is all about,
“An astronaut is someone who’s able to make good decisions quickly, with incomplete information, when the consequences really matter.”

Doesn’t that sound exactly like what parents have to do every day? Couldn’t we say – a parent needs to make good decisions quickly, with incomplete information, when the consequences really matter? It works pretty well don’t you think?

So, how do we do that?

Chris says that it takes years of training and repetition to be able to make those decisions when they really count. There is no question that his walking through space may be slightly more life-threatening than our day-to-day moments of bum-wiping, and homework-minding. We certainly do have the opportunity for years of on-the-job training and daily, if not hourly repetition. That is really where we need to focus – the repetition, the training.

When those same old mealtimes and bedtimes and homework sessions come at us, we need to be sure that we’re not repeating what didn’t work the last time. We likely can’t change what happens in the heat of the moment. What counts is making the time (after the fact) to watch the instant replay in our heads and freeze-frame the stuff that needs to change.

AWARENESS – Knowing what is working and what isn’t. Once we know that part, we can lead with new words in our mouth or a strategy to teach our kids.

When we make a plan to change and rehearse things the right way, then we are onto the secret to knowing how to make good decisions quickly even when we don’t know why on earth our little girl just punched her brother or why he did not turn in his homework when it was right there in his backpack.

The truth is that while each little event might not matter as much as a space-walk, the consequences of the decisions we make with our children really do matter a great deal. Kids live what they learn and learn what they live. Our daily actions add up to life-lessons. We are modelling values to our kids so we had better be repeating things that want them to learn because our kids learn about 75 per cent from their parents’ actions. Words only count for about 25 per cent.

Over the coming blogs we will focus on the words and strategies that you can use with a particular age of child. That way, you’ll have tools to use with the children you have right now and tools for the children they will, undoubtedly become.

Your mission right now is what we mentioned above: AWARENESS.

Start watching the instant replay in your head – make notes and circle the areas you know need to change. That way, you’ll be ready when the tools come your way. Good luck out there astronauts, and stay safe!