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Inside an open adoption

CALGARY – In the age of social media sites like Twitter and Facebook it’s not uncommon for adopted children to find and reconnect with their biological parents.

However, the tedious process of searching for and contacting biological parents is one that children in open adoptions often don’t have to experience – with many of them growing up with those people already in their lives.

Julie and Steve Dierkens, for example, adopted their daughter from Nathalie Pfiffig and still maintain a relationship with her.

“Families are formed in all different ways, and this is how our family is formed,” says Julie.

Pfiffig chose to have an open adoption, which gave her the power to select the parents and also have yearly visits.

“[She is] brilliantly intelligent and beautiful and quirky and fun and artistic and creative… and so we get along,” explains Steve. “We’ve had a great relationship. We shoot her photos and emails back and forth, and she gets updates on milestones.”
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Nathalie was 18 when she made the most difficult decision of her life. She was in her first year of college and found herself pregnant. After a lot of soul searching, she decided to place her baby for adoption.

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“I knew I wasn’t financially stable, emotionally stable at the time,” explains Nathalie. “Being able to still be involved in my child’s life is such an amazing feeling. You don’t have this complete hopelessness that it’s done and you lose that part of yourself – you still have the ability to make connections and enjoy these moments.”

“I feel like I’ve gained a family instead of lost a daughter,” she adds.

Open adoptions have been around for decades, but are becoming more popular among couple’s with fertility issues.

Currently there are about 145 couples on the waiting list at Adoption Options here in Calgary, but there are only about 50 placements.

The Dierkens had to go through rounds of interviews and complete piles of paperwork, but despite the long process, they say they would do it all again.

“It’s such an amazing way to expand your family – and you will love them just as much as you birthed them yourself, there’s no doubt about that,” says Julie.

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