WARNING: This story contains content some readers may find disturbing.
Blake Schreiner recalled laying in bed with his mind racing about his looming death at the hands of his partner Tammy Brown, the Illuminati or another secret organization.
The prior evening, he’d searched through the couple’s Saskatoon house and found his knife, court heard. Schreiner said he tucked the blade into his waistband before he watched a movie with Tammy, paced through the house and laid in bed with his daughter.
“They can’t kill me if I kill Tammy first,” the 39-year-old explained his thinking. “They want me to kill Tammy, so I just gotta do it.”
He’d also wondered if a voice in his head was telling him to kill his daughter early in the morning on Jan. 29, 2019, Schreiner said.
He stated the voice told him, “just do it. Do it you p—y.”
Pulling the knife from his waistband, Schreiner said he “plunged” it into Tammy. He recalled her dying words to her children: “mommy loves you”
When defence lawyer Brad Mitchell showed him the blade in court, Schreiner recoiled, confirmed it was his and started to cry.
Tammy’s body was stabbed about 80 times, according to an autopsy. A forensic pathologist determined her death was the cumulative result of stab wounds, blood loss and direct organ damage.
Schreiner had a mental health appointment scheduled for the day after the killing — a follow-up meeting after he’d spoken with professionals at City Hospital in December.
“(Tammy) just wanted me to get help. Every day she was on me,” Schreiner said, though he never told Saskatoon mental health workers about his paranoia and concerns around secret societies.
Before Tammy’s killing and for an unclear period of time afterward, Schreiner never told anyone about the voices in his head and what he believed to the Illuminati’s plot to have him killed. On Thursday, he said that he is now on medication, feeling “good” and “well-adjusted.”
His testimony came as Schreiner took the stand in his own defence in a Saskatoon courtroom. He has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder.
Schreiner admits to a fascination with hallucinogenic mushrooms and documenting his use of them in journals. One notebook also includes the names of people he considered as his possible disciples.
In previous testimony, he recalled “religious experiences,” including angels, demons, and his own existence as Jesus Christ. On other occasions, Schreiner said he thought he was a werewolf and needed to howl at the moon.
Schreiner said he stopped using mushrooms in November 2018. Before Tammy’s death in January 2019, Schreiner was hearing voices and having visions without the drug, according to his testimony.
He was convinced his common law spouse was going to use his paranoia against him to end their relationship and gain custody of the children, court heard. Schreiner suspected part of the plot was to make it appear that he was a pedophile, he said.
In the months leading up to Tammy’s death, Schreiner testified that he saw symbolism in everyday events that warned of his impending death or gave him clues about where he should run to.
A social media post from Elon Musk suggested he should fly to Los Angeles, he said, and a LinkedIn user’s post made Florida possible destination. He purchased Bolivian quinoa because Bolivia could be another safe haven, Schreiner testified.
“I was in fight or flight for like two months and I had nowhere to run anymore. It was her or me,” Schreiner said.
In December 2018, Schreiner acted on his impulses to escape and flew to Minneapolis, then to Florida and subsequently Cuba. He booked a three-week stay in Varadero, but left after a few days because he thought the Illuminati would have him killed, according to testimony.
From there, he travelled to Toronto and Montreal, missing the last Christmas before Tammy’s death.
“I thought that she wanted me dead, so I didn’t think she was too concerned about where I was,” he said.
Schreiner said symbolism crept up in other areas of his life: a yoga mat he bought for Tammy represents a pipeline. He got a Costco membership because it was a metaphor for the ability to influence political decisions, he said.
His relationship with Tammy became further strained in January, when a Saskatoon police officer called Schreiner about a sexual advance he made toward a woman one month earlier, Schreiner testified.
Schreiner said he was compelled to seek out sex from his neighbours. He knocked on one door and a woman answered, wearing a robe. The accused said he thought it was a sign to she wanted to have sex with him.
He recalled saying a “secret code” to her: “can I borrow some screws?”
She rejected his attempted kiss, but gave him some screws from her garage before Schreiner went home to “relieve” himself.
On another occasion, Schreiner said he exposed his penis to a family member after receiving what he thought what a sexual message.
Though he told Tammy about the officer’s phone call, Schreiner said he never explained his sexual actions to her, court heard.
“It was kind of about the secret organization — the things that I had to do,” he testified.
Schreiner’s trial continues Friday with the Crown’s cross-examination of Schreiner. Proceedings are scheduled to conclude next week.
Crown prosecutor Melodi Kujawa told media on Wednesday she’s anticipating the defence will argue Schreiner is not criminally responsible.
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