Mother’s Day is quickly approaching, but it will be the first one Sean “Diddy” Combs will have to celebrate without his former girlfriend and the mother to three of his children, Kim Porter.
Essence released an audio clip on Thursday from its interview with Combs for his May cover story with the magazine.
When asked if he’s ready for the holiday, Combs gets emotional.
READ MORE: Kim Porter’s cause of death revealed
“Mother’s Day is going to hurt,” Combs said. “We definitely are going to celebrate all the mothers. We’re not going to get in the way of that.”
WATCH BELOW: LAPD investigate death of model, actress Kim Porter
He continued: “Honestly, anybody that has lost a mother or lost a soulmate — it takes time. It takes time. They say time heals all wounds. When it comes to mothers … I don’t think that’s the case. That’s not a negative thing because, as people, we need wounds. You need something to sting you sometimes and keep you on point and teach you a lesson.”
He began to cry and said: “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m going to figure something out, though. This hurts so much. I know that people want to hear the good stuff, but it hurts and there ain’t no way around that.”
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READ MORE: Kim Porter, mother of Diddy’s children, dead at 47
He shared that he wanted to do the interview with Essence to let “everybody know how special all the mothers are.”
“I don’t think anyone would ever understand how hard it is to be a black mother,” he said. “I think we are the strongest beings. When it comes to the strongest beings on the face of the Earth, it would have to be black mothers.”
The rapper said that he learned more about what it takes to be a mother than ever before after Porter passed away from pneumonia last year.
“Nothing came before my family before, but, of course, there would be a couple of dates I would miss or some things I would miss because I was so into my work,” he said.
Combs continued: “I always loved them as a father, but from a mother’s perspective, the kids come first and that’s it. It’s nothing else that really matters from a mother’s perspective.”
“I immediately had the lens of a mother,” the 49-year-old record executive said. “The lens of me as a father was combined with the lens of a mother. I had to immediately tap into my feminine side and that protective side … I never actually felt emotions like this. My heart was never open like this. I never had my senses like this. It’s been crazy from that point, but I just knew that she was training me for this and I wasn’t scared.”
Combs revealed that when he doesn’t know what to do, he asks himself: “What would Kim do?”
READ MORE: Diddy breaks silence after death of Kim Porter — ‘We were more than soulmates’
Combs and Porter were a couple on and off from 1994 until they split for good in 2007.
Their children are 21-year-old Christian and 12-year-old twin daughters D’Lila Star and Jessie James. Combs also has three other children from other relationships.
Porter also has a 27-year-old son, Quincy Brown, from a previous relationship with singer Al B. Sure. Brown was largely raised with Combs. He is now an actor who appears on the Fox series Star and has had a handful of other TV and film roles.
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