Asia Argento is speaking out for the first time about the death of her partner, celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain.
In an exclusive interview with DailyMailTV airing Monday and Tuesday, the 42-year-old actor shared her feelings after the chef and TV personality’s suicide in June.
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“The anger kept me alive because, otherwise, this desperation has no end, there’s no end,” Argento admitted, wiping away tears. “And then I was angry, yes, for abandoning my kids, but now it’s been replaced just by this loss, this hole that cannot be filled by anything.”
Bourdain, who was 62 when he died, had one daughter, Ariane, from his second marriage to Ottavia Busia.
Argento also opened up about the trolling she received; following Bourdain’s death, people blamed her.
“People say I murdered him. They say I killed him,” she said. “But I understand that the world needs to find a reason. I would like to find a reason too. I don’t have it. Maybe I would feel some solace in thinking there was something that happened.”
One of the charges against Argento was that she had cheated on Bourdain, but in the interview, she said it was a normal part of their “grown-up” relationship.
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“He cheated on me too. It wasn’t a problem for us,” Argento explained.
The interview is Argento’s first since Bourdain’s passing, as well as her first since sexual assault allegations were made against her. Fellow actor Jimmy Bennett said sexual abuse took place when he was 17 and she was 37.
Bennett appeared on Italian TV Sunday night and he was mocked by the audience for his assault accusations. Journalist Massimo Giletti asked Bennett about the selfie he took with Argento after they had sex.
“I’m sorry, but you don’t seem upset, you don’t seem in this picture to be traumatized. You don’t look here like someone who was afraid,” Massimo said, as translated by The Daily Mail, to loud applause from the audience.
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The journalist also asked, “Was the rapport complete?” referring to whether Bennett had ejaculated.
When he replied, “Well, yes,” members of the audience moaned.
On Sunday, CNN broadcast the first of five final Parts Unknown episodes Bourdain completed before he died.