Saturday Night Live continued its festive themes this week with an opening skit beginning with a White House Christmas address from U.S. President Donald Trump, played by Alec Baldwin, and First Lady Melania Trump.
The cold open begins with Melania wishing viewers a Merry Christmas, with Baldwin’s Trump pointing out that “you can finally say that because the war on Christmas is over.”
He adds that “it will soon be replaced by the war on North Korea.”
Baldwin’s Trump then lauds the first year of his presidency, claiming that “a lot of people have been saying it was the greatest year in the history of America, and maybe the planet Earth,” citing the “biggest, fattest tax cut” that the American people have ever seen as one example of his success.
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Trump then excitedly talks about how Santa Claus will make his presence felt by “taking presents from Muslims and illegals and giving them to American children.”
Introductory remarks complete, Trump then announces that he will be hanging ornaments bearing the faces of all the “haters and losers I destroyed this year” on his Christmas tree.
Adviser Kellyanne Conway enters the room first, clutching an ornament of former FBI director James Comey.
“Sadly I had to fire Comey because he’s a nut-job — and also because he knew all my secrets,” Baldwin’s Trump says wistfully as the ornament goes up on the tree.
Conway then leaves the room and in strides White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders with ornaments of her predecessors Anthony Scaramucci and Sean Spicer, “whose mangled corpses I stepped over to get this job.”
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It’s then the turn of Vice-President Mike Pence to make his contribution in the form of an ornament of Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn.
Pence says he chose Flynn “because he lied to us… and he acted alone without our knowledge,” emphasizing the “without our knowledge” part.
The ornament-hanging routine is then interrupted by a knock on the window from Omarosa Manigault, the former White House aide who recently resigned from her post.
Omarosa is seen slamming on the window and demanding to be let in, before being bundled away by a security officer, in a scene that echoed some recent rumours that she was forcibly removed from the White House premises.
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The president’s daughter Ivanka Trump then arrives with an ornament of Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore, and adds that her husband Jared Kushner couldn’t make it because “he’s packing a go bag before the FBI arrives.”
Trump then laments Moore’s election defeat, saying, “I thought for sure that he would win. Until he lost. Then I said I always knew he would lose. But at least America knows that I finally supported an accused child molester.”
Ivanka then adds that she tried to make an ornament of Steve Bannon “but his face wouldn’t fit.”
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Trump’s sons Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump then appear, with Trump Jr. unveiling an ornament featuring an array of former Trump aides, including former campaign manager Paul Manafort and political adviser George Papadopoulos.
An Elf on the Shelf then shows up in the form of Attorney General Jeff Sessions, played by Kate McKinnon.
She asks Trump if she can put an angel with special counsel Robert Mueller’s face on it, and is granted her wish.
“Merry Christmas,” McKinnon’s elf version of Sessions says. “Everybody is going to get away with everything.”