Pranksters got their thrill on for April Fool’s Day around Metro Vancouver on Saturday, marking the occasion with some pretty elaborate announcements.
Some of the best jokes came from local police departments, universities and website The Daily Hive, which convincingly reported Disney planned to open a $7-billion ski resort in Squamish.
Around Canada and the world, major brands also joined in on the fun. WestJet announced it was changing its name to “Canada Air” while Prime Minister Justin Trudeau joked about punching actor Matthew Perry (the latter had admitted earlier this month to throwing a punch at Trudeau during their shared time in elementary school in Ottawa.)
We’ve curated the best pranks from around Metro Vancouver — with apologies in advance: none of these are real.
Daily Hive’s Disney ski resort announcement
Local publication The Daily Hive reported early Saturday morning that the Walt Disney Company was proposing a $7-billion ski resort in Squamish’s Garibaldi park, complete with a Frozen-themed ice castle, 124 ski runs, 24 chairlifts and four Disney hotels, accessed only by a gondola.
The park would also include a 200,000-square foot Toy Story-themed indoor water park, a “Main Street Canada” and year-round adventure opportunities that could serve four million annual visitors.
Unfortunately for Disney fans, there is no such proposal in the works.
City of Port Moody trolls the City of Vancouver
The City of Mort Poody threw some shade at their neighbours to the west when it revealed designs for a brand-new municipal logo on Saturday.
The city posted a nearly identical “new” logo on Twitter, adding that “the addition of third sailboat gives city a new visual identity that’s in line with the times.” They were subtly referencing the City of Vancouver’s beleaguered logo transformation attempt that came under scrutiny for its expense, redundancy and lack of flair.
UBC’s president announces world’s longest moving walkway
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The large size of the UBC campus has been an inconvenience to many students over the years, but on Saturday, UBC President Santa J. Ono announced a speedy solution.
He said the university would be building the world’s longest moving walkway from one end of Main Mall to the other — a distance of roughly 1.3 kilometres.
The president also sent a few less-believable tweets announcing a hyperloop connection between the Vancouver and Okanagan campuses and the creation of the first university campus in outer space — with the same tuition and fees as the planet Earth alternative.
SFU kills WiFi in order to increase productivity
Simon Fraser University announced they would be banning WiFi on campus for a three-month pilot project in order to reduce distraction in the classroom.
“WiFi is a disruptive technology — it’s distracting,” said Peter Keller, the university’s vice-president academic and provost, in a video.
“Effective immediately, we will be shutting WiFi down across Burnaby, Vancouver and Surrey campuses,” said chief information officer Mark Roman.
Students in the university’s video did not take the announcement the way the university hoped, instead turning to passing notes and doodling the old-fashioned way to kill time in class.
Blenz Coffee starts new coffee IV program
Caffeine in an IV drip is something many tired people have requested over the years, and Blenz Coffee announced they were making it happen on Saturday.
“You asked and we listened! We are proud to introduce our new ‘Coffee IV’, allowing you to get pure caffeine straight to your bloodstream! We are launching the Coffee IV at all locations on April 1, 2017,” the coffee chain said in a release.
The program would ensure there was a registered nurse on site. Doses would be equivalent to about four or five cups of coffee and cost $10 each.
Vancouver Police reveal hypoallergenic police dog program
The Vancouver Police Department introduced its new police dog program featuring “shabradoodles.” The cute and cuddly dogs are apparently hypoallergenic and would allow more officers to work alongside the canine unit.
Vancouver Marathon cuts race distances
Because this winter was so rough in southern B.C., the BMO Vancouver Marathon announced it was rounding down this year’s race distances to 40 kilometres and 20 kilometres from the typical 42.2 and 21.1.
“Due to the difficult training weather we’ve had this past winter, we wanted to give runners a break and a leg up at our event this Spring,” Graeme White, executive director of the non-profit Vancouver International Marathon Society, said in a statement.
“We’ve worked closely with key stakeholders to make these course changes for 2017, and are confident that runners will respond positively to the shorter race distance,” said White. “Runners can now go all-out and try to post their marathon and half-marathon PBs, technically over a shorter distance.”
Much to many runners’ dismay, howevver, they’ll actually have to run the full distances as usual.
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