Jilly Song, her two brothers and her mother are having a difficult time forgetting Dec. 30, 2022. It’s a day their lives were forever changed for the worse.
Their father and husband of 32 years, Danyang Song, left the house before 5 a.m. headed to Vaughan, Ont., where he worked as a plumber. The family was excited because Danyang was going to work a half-day before returning home for a pre-new year’s party they had been planning to throw that night.
Instead, police arrived at the door of their Whitby, Ont., home and told them that Danyang had been killed. It seemed even more real when an officer passed them his personal effects.
“I just remember this very clearly. They just handed us his phone and wallet because when they said it, nobody believed that. It was the day before new year’s. I just saw him the night before,” Jilly said as tears filled her eyes.
The Song family later learned that Danyang had been struck head-on by a wrong-way driver on Highway 401 westbound near Brock Road in Pickering at around 5 a.m. Danyang was pronounced dead at the scene. A third vehicle was also involved in the collision. Police say two other people were taken to hospital with injuries.
The driver of the vehicle that was travelling eastbound in the westbound lanes that collided with Danyang’s car, 25-year-old Shamar Gilkes, was charged with impaired driving, dangerous driving and failing to provide a breath sample causing death and bodily harm. Gilkes was due to appear in an Oshawa courtroom this week. The case remains before the courts.
Jilly describes her father as the “brick” of the family and the sole breadwinner who supported the family financially. Her older and younger brother described their father’s passion for computers and gaming, which rubbed off on all the kids.
“Some of the games I used to play, I don’t really enjoy them anymore. Like maybe I’m scared to play them, because my dad played the same games,” said Danyang’s 28-year-old son, whose name Global News has agreed not to use for privacy reasons.
The family is also angry about the circumstances of their father’s death.
“We’re always safe drivers. We always ensure we’re in the best condition to drive. If we go to our friend’s house and if we drink, they allow us to stay in their house overnight. We did nothing wrong but now we have to endure the pain, maybe for the rest of our lives,” the eldest son added.
Danyang’s youngest child, an 18-year-old who’s studying computer science at university, remembers learning about the dangers of drinking and driving in high school and said it never seemed real until his father was killed.
“Even though there are so many options to avoid drunk driving, there are still a few people out there, that still take that choice,” said the 18-year-old, whom Global News has also agreed not to name.
The family said they have yet to tell Danyang’s 86-year-old father who lives in China that his son was killed. He’s been battling cancer and they worry how the news might affect him.
“My aunt’s concern is if she tells him the news, that might be the end of his life,” explained the eldest son.
The Songs want to thank those who have contributed to a GoFundMe account, which has raised over $40,000, and shown support in other ways.
“Through this tragedy, it was really heartwarming to see many people in our community came together to support us. I know a very touching moment was on a big snow day. We were not really well enough to shovel,” Jilly recalled. “We went outside to see that all the neighbours had come together to help shovel the driveway for us without saying anything. I think through this event, we were able to see so many acts of kindness.”
As the children try to embark on their lives, Jilly — a University of Waterloo software engineering student — said she’s struggling with moving forward. She envisioned her father being there for her graduation and other milestones.
“He was supposed to be part of my life events. In the future, if I get married, we used to joke about that, (He would say) ‘I’m going to walk you down the aisle but I’m not going to let go.’ I have never doubted that he would be there for a lot of these things,” Jilly added, tears running down her face.
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