No one likes going through a breakup and experts say the COVID-19 pandemic has only made them tougher to recover from.
Author Amy Chan of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart recently joined The Morning Show to share tips on how to heal from a breakup during the pandemic.
Chan says the first step is to recognize whether you are stuck in a relationship due to the “sunk cost fallacy.”
Instead of focusing on the time invested in the past, focus on the present and the future value of the relationship, she suggests.
“Ask yourself, ‘If I was to make the same decision right now, would I choose this person?’” she said. “And if the answer is no, it’s time to start channelling your inner Marie Kondo and detoxing from your ex.”
She says the first to healing from a breakup is to reframe your story and get out of the thinking trap.
A thinking trap makes you focus and stuck on the bad memories of the past. We tend to vilify our actions based on our confirmation bias, she said.
“We can’t have gratitude for the lessons we can’t have foresight into.”
Crying, partying, taking up a new hobby or eating your favourite ice cream — there are all kinds of reactions to a breakup. But the COVID-19 pandemic has restricted some of our healing strategies.
“You need to be very strategic and creative of how you’re going to fill up that void with other things that light you up that fulfill your needs,” she said.
She recommends doing weekly calls with friends, exercising and getting out of your pyjamas.
“You can even do an online virtual dance class with your friends and get those endorphins going,” she added.
Another way is to get rid of things like photos or furniture that remind you of your ex.
“Remember that you are the author of your story and this is just the next chapter that you’re entering into,” she said.
To learn more about breaking up in the pandemic, watch the video above.
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