Jill’s House: ‘It is ok to cry’, the importance of letting out your emotions
When I last left you in March, I was mourning the upsetting loss our team had at the 2016 Canadian Scotties Tournament of Hearts in the semi final game. I talked about grief and the importance of it in so many different aspects of life.
Since having all summer to reflect on that moment, and still believing in the grieving process, I also started to ask myself why I felt I had to hold my emotions in until I was in the locker room.
This question was also provoked after I attended a youth hockey game in Saskatchewan in March where a mother in the stands yelled at her kid on the bench saying, “There is no crying in hockey!”
I was a bit stunned by that outburst, as I could never imagine myself yelling something like that at my kid in public or even in the privacy of my own home!
So all this got me thinking – why is it not okay to cry? Who says? Or at least why is it not okay to cry in public? And is there a difference between men and women? Do people think it means you are weak?
Well, I am here to tell you that I, for one, do not believe that crying is a weakness! Crying is an important emotional release that shows you are not emotionally incompetent and helps process important and often difficult feelings – for both women, men and especially kids!
Now I am not saying that the next time the waterworks turn on that you take a video and post it on social media for the world to see, but when you feel the build up about to pour out, why hold back? I’m also not saying that after that semi final loss I should have sat on the ice and let it all pour out in front of thousands of fans, but I, or anyone else, should certainly not be embarrassed by the tears either!
I have always been an emotional person who often feels the need to cry and let it out and so I’ve always been known as the “emotional one” on my team. But it was brought to my attention that many people have emotions with the same intensity whether it is anger, frustration, sadness or fear. It’s just that mine most often comes out in tears, others might manifest differently. Is that wrong?! Heck no! It is what it is. But it sure makes me feel better – both crying and knowing that it is just the way my emotions are expressed.
And so I have come to the conclusion and have also started to tell some of my closest friends when they have tears, “It is okay to cry!”
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