While Christmas is traditionally a season filled with happiness and joy, it can be especially difficult for people facing it for the first time without a loved one.
In order to be close to those who have passed away, many family members visit cemeteries over the holidays.
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For the last four years, Deacon Paul Croteau, who is the director of Edmonton Catholic Cemeteries, has spent Christmas Day at the Holy Cross Cemetery. There, he greets families who come to visit their loved ones’ final resting place.
“It’s a remarkable day of sadness, united with joy and peace, for these families,” Croteau said.
“You might not think of a cemetery as a place to be at Christmas, but for us, it is truly a gift to be with them.”
Croteau said Christmas Day is second only to Mother’s Day in terms of visitors. Around 400 people usually come to pay their respects to loved ones.
“They come to pray and they come to remember. It’s very important to them,” explained Denise Rivest, a long-time employee of the cemetery.
The holiday season can be especially challenging for those that have recently experienced loss.
“You can be assured that anybody who’s lost someone during the year – it’s extremely hard for them, because they remember that person,” Rivest said.
Croteau said people often bottle up their grief, but it’s important to mourn.
“We try to teach them to have permission to be sad, permission to talk about their feelings,” he said. “If they’re angry at God, be angry at God.”
The cemetery, located on Mark Messier Trail, also has two trees decorated with around 1,000 memorial ornaments in the Holy Cross Mausoleum. The ornaments are left in memory of those who have died.
“When we thought of some way we could memorialize and remember the families, we thought of a tree. An ornament is small and it’s very meaningful because they bring ornaments with a picture of their family,” Rivest said.
Mary Soares comes to visit her husband, Antonio, once a week. This Christmas, she made a lace ornament for him.
“This ornament means I love him so much. It’s like we’re thinking of him, never forget him.”
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Croteau is also trained to counsel those who are grieving. He recently completed 150 hours of training from the internationally recognized Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Co. and will be hosting a workshop on Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. at Good Shepherd Parish called “Healing Your Holiday Grief.”
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