A man severely burned in an SUV crash is sharing his story of recovery at the Canadian Burn Survivors Community conference in Calgary this week.
Ben Harms had just graduated from Bowness High School in 2009. He and three friends were on road trip in Washington state that ended in a fiery crash. Two of his friends died.
Harms and a third friend were trapped in the vehicle. He suffered severe burns to his lower body resulting in the amputation of both of his lower legs.
“The mental stuff was difficult for a long time. Pretty unbearable pain and expecting my life to end,” Harms recalled.
“I don’t remember the pain so much at the accident, but just the surgeries and the skin grafts and the donor sites,” said the 32-year-old at the burn survivor conference on Saturday.
Canadian Burn Survivors Community (CBSC) is comprised of burn survivors, firefighters, burn unit staff and advisors.
“You’re always itchy and burns break down and they blister easily, especially with my legs, my skin wears down very quickly,” Harms said.
Harms said what helped him the most was the love and support family and friends surrounded him with.
“I’m lucky to have such a big family and close friends,” Harms said.
He went to his first burn survivor conference in 2012 and to the world burn conference in Indiana a couple of years after that.
“You meet a lot of people who experience similar things and that network is really close as well — almost like another family,” Harms said.
Deborah Ward suffered severe burns in 1961 when she was seven years-old but it wasn’t until her mid-40s that she connected with burn survivors.
“I was alone with this injury. Nobody wanted to talk about it. Nobody knew how to deal with it,” Ward said on Saturday at the Calgary conference. “I didn’t have any support back in 1961 and if you had any kind of disability back then you were put in the background,”
Ward is the president of the Nova Scotia Burn Support Group as well as secretary/treasurer for the Canadian Burn Survivors Conference Steering Committee and has published her biography “Silently Weeping”.
She volunteers to visit patients in the Burn Unit in Halifax and participates with Camp Connect for burned children and adults sponsored by the Nova Scotia Firefighters Burn Treatment Society.
“I turned a disaster into something very successful and positive,” Ward said. “At the conferences, they start getting comfortable in their new skin and they open up. They cry but they get things out and they’re gathering information.”
“Most of us don’t want to show our burns and that’s a big challenge. There are a lot of people here that still won’t wear shorts or short sleeves. Two weeks ago I put on a bathing suit for the first time in 62 years and went in a pool in public. That was my last hurdle to get over. I feel like I’m free now. I do what I want to do and I don’t have to hide,” Ward said.
Harms graduated as a professional engineer and met and fell in love with his soon-to-be wife. He said he’s dedicated himself to simply living, despite his dry skin and slow walking; “appreciating the flowers, looking at the stars and finding joy where it is often overlooked.”
He said there were times when the pain made him feel like giving up. His message is about managing expectations and realizing that pushing through those hard days is worth it.
“Talking to people is very important. Time heals a little bit but it doesn’t solve everything and I think that key is coming to terms and finding peace in the life you live afterward,” Ward said.
“It doesn’t necessarily define us. It’s more just an experience. We can still relate to just wanting to get up and do normal daily activities and go to school – do regular things like work at a regular job,” Harms said.
Because of the pandemic, this is the first time the annual conference has been held since 2018. The Calgary Firefighters Burn Treatment Society helped host the event.
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