A “death cafe” in Moncton, N.B. is serving up a lot more than coffee. The gathering place is helping people find comfort in discussing the topic of end of life.
“We are sort of helping one another here, I think,” said Leo Ouellette, who attended one of the cafes hosted by Hospice SENB (Southeast New Brunswick) and held at Bix Experience.
Michelle Tupy is Hospice SENB’s community services director. She said the hospice decided to join what she called a “death cafe movement” by hosting a bi-weekly gathering at the cafe.
“I see people get emotional, which I think is a wonderful thing because in this society we are afraid to open up and really share those feelings,” she said.
Gathered in a circle of support, the group of perfect strangers share their most intimate end-of-life thoughts and experiences. Tupy said the goal is to help people find comfort and connection in confronting a topic that can be difficult to discuss.
“We do have people who have recently lost a loved one and people that are going through something themselves – their own battle with something,” she said.
Death cafes are a global movement, with events having been held in 44 countries around the world.
The meetings have no predetermined themes or agendas. People often talk about grief, fear of dying and death with dignity.
Leo Ouellette and his wife, from Moncton, attended their first meeting after their daughter passed away six months ago.
Ouellette said they attended the gathering out of curiosity but ended up finding comfort with people who did not even know their daughter.
“I think a lot of people want to understand and a lot of people are looking for answers and they have no place to go, they don’t know what to do,” he said.
According to Death Cafe, a self-described volunteer social franchise, the movement originated in England in 2011 and the gatherings have since gone global with as many as 1,400 being held in Canada alone.
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Death Doula Liette LeBlanc Brewer guides people through discussions in the Moncton group.
“I think everybody (experiences) death with loss and we usually don’t like to talk about it,” said Ouellette.
She said that sometimes it is easier for people to open up to strangers about the topic that brews in the back of everyone’s mind.
Tupy said that some people attend the meetings to openly talk about their feelings, while others go just to sit and listen.
“Maybe they don’t want to participate in the conversation and then you see they come back and they feel brave enough to say a few words,” said Tupy.
She said that most people end up leaving the meeting feeling uplifted.
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