Episode 4: Pepsi and Paradoxes

I shouldn’t be so thoroughly annoyed by an episode 68 seconds in. These fantasy sequences the writing staff seem so reliant upon should be abolished, like nuclear weapons and Crystal Pepsi. I don’t long to know the characters’ dreams and aspirations and the stuff that truly makes them smile; I care about their words and actions. It should be apparent through these devices what the character truly wants/needs/thinks.

Also, I love those little boxes of Chinese food. It annoys me that they are not used in Canada.

I can’t say the next thing annoys me but it definitely irks me: what I like to call the “Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy” paradox. While we have yet to hit the opening credits, we have however managed to squeeze in two examples of mature women having sex with pubescent boys. Jen and Liam… Sasha and Dixon… one woman was aware of the discrepancy in age while the other wasn’t. Nonetheless, how do shows get away with this? As long as the junior is a male, audiences will eat this stuff up. Good on you, 90210.

Jeers, however, to the tumult you are putting Adrianna and Navid through this these past few episodes. Just when you thought they were clear of the drama that plagued them in season one, here’s comes the sexy millionaire athlete to disrupt their love-in. The unrest of their relationship is relentless. Please end it (read: the relationship) sooner than later. Poor Navid doesn’t deserve this.

While you’re at it, end this ruse Dixon seems bent on maintaining with Sasha. Let the cat out of the bag (or the porn out of the trunk?), again, sooner than later (yes, I’m being particularly impatient lately). Then it can be revealed that Sasha is in fact a high school student herself, permitting the couple to continue with their relationship (Oh wait, they already did that with Liam and Naomi. Nevermind…).

It also seems Adrianna isn’t the only woman in Beverly Hills juggling two men. Without attracting too much attention, Annie has been seen cavorting with not one, not three, but two secondary cast members. First, she dates the guy with “Girls Gone Wild” aspirations, then she cozies up to Jasper — philsopher, astronomer, possible sociopath. Granted, they’re no sexy millionaire athlete or porn heir but they’ll do.

Last question: Liam, how did all of the desk clearing and blueprint studying at the end of the last episode contribute to your master plan of using a tape recorder? Were those not blueprints but rather, RadioShack flyers? Did you clear away the worktable in hopes of finding a blank cassette? I suppose I shouldn’t question such a fortuitous turn of events but I’m left wondering if this is an intentional red herring or an illustration of the writing staff’s woefully short memory.