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Stephen Colbert delivers coronavirus monologue from his porch

Host Stephen Colbert of ‘The Late Show’ posted a 15-minute monologue on YouTube centered around the COVID-19 pandemic. – Mar 19, 2020

Late Show host Stephen Colbert took his monologue to his back porch on Wednesday as New Yorkers continue to practise social distancing due to the new coronavirus pandemic.

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“Welcome to my perch up in the breeze,” Colbert said as he welcomed viewers to his backyard. “On Monday’s show it was water, yesterday’s show it was fire, and so today, it’s The Light Show with Stephen Colb-Air.”

Colbert said he was doing the show “among the trees because I read on Facebook that viruses are afraid of stairs. They’re like cows or Donald Trump.”

Colbert said he had a new monologue for his viewers but that the rest of the episode was recorded “in the before times.”

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He went on to say the new coronavirus “continues to be everywhere, even after Trump made a big deal about it not being in West Virginia.”

“Last night, we found out that West Virginia is the 50th state to report a coronavirus case. Now we’re all in this together. No red states or blue states, just 50 anxious, pale states,” Colbert said. “This is a crisis that we have to face together by staying as far apart as possible.”

The 55-year-old late-night host said local governments all over the United States are restricting their citizens’ movements.

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“Yesterday, Florida’s governor announced that beach parties should be limited to groups of 10 people. You know it’s serious when Florida starts enforcing rules — remember, their state motto is ‘can you huff this?'” Colbert said.

He added that New York City’s mayor told residents to “get ready for the worst” and touched on the possibility of a shelter-in-place order.

“Shelter-in-place means no one is allowed out of their residence except for essential trips to grocery stores and pharmacies,” Colbert explained.

Shortly after New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced the possibility of a shelter-in-place order, Colbert said, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo released a statement challenging that announcement.

“Any blanket quarantine or shelter-in-place policy would require state action, and as the governor said, there is no consideration of that for any locality at this time,” Cuomo’s statement read.

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“Mayor de Blasio, Gov. Cuomo, the nation is in crisis. There’s no time for a pissing match. You should be saving your urine in jars just like the rest of us. We’re supposed to do that, right?” Colbert said as he looked off-camera to ask. “I read that on Facebook.

“Everywhere you look, people are looking after each other,” Colbert added. “Getting food or cleaning supplies for their neighbours, regardless of what that neighbour’s politics are. Democrat, Republican, socialist — it doesn’t matter right now. We can still disagree about many things, but this crisis has driven home — literally, home — the truth that this is one great nation, united by our belief in, and our need for, each other.”

Questions about COVID-19? Here are some things you need to know:

Health officials say the risk is low for Canadians but warn this could change quickly. They caution against all international travel. Returning travellers are asked to self-isolate for 14 days in case they develop symptoms and to prevent spreading the virus to others.

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Symptoms can include fever, cough and difficulty breathing — very similar to a cold or flu. Some people can develop a more severe illness. People most at risk of this include older adults and people with severe chronic medical conditions like heart, lung or kidney disease. If you develop symptoms, contact public health authorities.

To prevent the virus from spreading, experts recommend frequent handwashing and coughing into your sleeve. And if you get sick, stay at home.

For full COVID-19 coverage from Global News, click here.

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