“Can you believe that I will be impeached today by the Radical Left, Do Nothing Democrats, AND I DID NOTHING WRONG!” Trump tweeted.
“A terrible Thing,” he continued. “Read the Transcripts. This should never happen to another President again. Say a PRAYER!”
“Yes. Nothing says confidence quite like ‘say a prayer,'” Colbert said. “A state trooper pulls you over. You’re completely innocent, so you scream at the other motorist: ‘Pray for me!'”
Colbert also mocked Trump for sending out “comically oversized” Christmas cards to each member of the United States Congress.
The card in question contained a copy of the president’s six-page letter, which was initially directed at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who launched the official impeachment inquiry against Trump on Sept. 24.
“That thing is the size of a Cheesecake Factory menu,” Colbert said of the size of the card. “Which makes sense, since both feature an orange chicken.”
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Within Trump’s Christmas cards to U.S. Congress members, he included a second, smaller card, which Colbert compared to Matryoshka dolls.
“Cards within cards,” he said. “It’s like a Russian doll, which, coincidentally, is Trump’s Secret Service nickname.”
Colbert’s quips were met with laughter from the New York City studio audience.
“Trump will probably bounce back,” the host continued. “According to one former aide, Trump is the most resilient politician the country has ever seen.”
“OK,” said Colbert. “Not to be all ‘Teddy Roosevelt got shot,’ but Teddy Roosevelt got shot… and then finished the speech he was giving.”
The 26th U.S. president, Theodore Roosevelt, was shot by John Flammang Schrank on Oct. 14, 1912 during a campaign speech in Milwaukee, Wis.
Though he was advised to go to the hospital and seek medical attention, Roosevelt first concluded his speech.
“Trump gets winded carrying an umbrella up a staircase,” Colbert added before playing a clip of the current president struggling to put down an umbrella.