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‘If you want to go, you can go, it’s OK’: Wife of Dougald Miller recounts their love story

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Dougald Miller’s widow shares their story
WATCH ABOVE: A vicious attack 16 years ago robbed him of a full life and this past weekend, Dougald Miller passed away. Today, his wife Lesley shares their story of strength and love. Julia Wong reports – Sep 27, 2016

Just days after the death of an Edmonton man, who spent more than a decade in a vegetative state following a horrific beating that shocked Albertans, his widow is opening up about their special relationship.

The story of Lesley and Dougald Miller, who was viciously beaten by a dangerous offender, is one of strength and of love, even in the darkest of times.

In 1981, Lesley, then 35 years old, was going through a divorce and Dougald, then 42 years old, had returned from Canada to Scotland to visit friends and family.

As fate and chance would have it, both ended up attending a dance at a local bridge club and hit it off. Their encounter led to another date on Sunday, followed by more on Tuesday and Thursday.

“He said ‘I think you should come to Canada and see what it’s like because you’re going to be my wife,’” she recalled.

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Lesley said she knew very quickly there was something special about the sturdy Scotsman.

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“I felt it you know? We were on the same wavelength. I knew he was a good man. I could feel he was a good man,” she said.

“You know how you can know someone is right, right away? That’s how it was with Dougald.”

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The pair did long-distance for some time; they would spend hours on the phone and flew to visit one another. A year and a half after their initial encounter, the pair married in Westlock.

“He made me laugh, you know, and I was a sad wreck when he met me. He changed my life completely.”

But their happy life was shattered in 2000 when Dougald was savagely beaten by notorious dangerous offender Leo Teskey.

READ MORE: Teskey declared a dangerous offender

The attack left Dougald in a vegetative state – his skull was crushed, his jaw was broken and part of his ear was torn off.

Lesley has spent much of the last 16 years as a caretaker. There were times when his health was in peril but she said he always made it out on the other side.

But last Tuesday, his health took a turn for the worse. Dougald was suffering from complications due to pneumonia and internal bleeding. And last Saturday, Lesley knew it was time to say goodbye.

“I said ‘Dougald you came into my life and you just changed it completely, thank you for being my husband.’ He gave me a big smile. He was smiling right up until early afternoon. [But] I could see he was starting to suffer,” she said.
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Lesley read him poems and talked to him as the hours ticked away.

“I said, ‘Dougald, you look really tired. If you want to go, you can go, it’s OK.’”

“’You fought a long hard battle and it’s time for you to have a rest.’ So he died. I was holding him. I was talking to him, so that’s the last…the last thing he heard was my voice.”

Lesley said she is still coming to grips with her new reality.

“He suffered so much. I was selfish and I wanted him there. I’m OK…then it dawns on me he’s away. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him,” she said with tears in her eyes.

Lesley said Dougald may not have been able to speak but his eyes were a gateway into his mind and his soul.

“He was still in there. He knew what I was saying to him. If I told him something sad, he would cry. If I told him something funny, he would laugh,” she said.

“Dougald could speak with his eyes. He would already be smiling in the room because he heard me. I would say, ‘Where is my hubby? What are you doing lying in that bed? Get up because I need you home,’’” she said with her voice cracking.

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She said she “hates” Teskey, has not forgiven him and said she never will.

READ MORE: Edmonton criminal Leo Teskey remains a dangerous offender

“He took Dougald’s life for no reason other than he had asked him to leave. He took my soulmate away from me.”

However, Lesley does not want to dwell on Teskey; rather she wants to ensure Dougald’s life is celebrated, saying he told her to talk about “the good things” at his funeral.

And one of those good things may be their marriage – a marriage that persisted through a rollercoaster of court dates, struggles with finding appropriate care and staying positive despite the circumstances.

As she grapples with a life without her husband, Lesley said he would want her to move on.

“He’d be saying, ‘A bottle of whiskey, get it open.’ He would say to me, ‘Don’t cry, get on with things,’ you know?” she said with a trace of a smile.

Now she takes some comfort in knowing Dougald is finally at peace and will no longer feel pain.

A celebration of Dougald’s life will be held Tuesday morning at Park Memorial.

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