TORONTO — If you’re faking the moaning and groaning between the sheets, just stop. New Canadian research suggests your partner can tell you’re not into it.
In a new study, University of Waterloo scientists say that couples have a certain flow in the bedroom, just like they do in other aspects of life. They like to sleep in, they like to order pizza on Tuesdays and they have a trusty pattern when they’re getting naked. These habits help them decipher what their partner likes.
“Over, time a couple will develop sexual routines,” lead author Erin Fallis said. “We found that, on average, both men and women have fairly accurate and unbiased perceptions of their partners’ sexual satisfaction.”
Her study may have put relationships in an awkward situation: 84 couples were recruited so that the researchers could examine sexual functioning and satisfaction.
The partners were separated and asked to speak candidly about their level of commitment, satisfaction in the relationship and in the bedroom.
Fallis says that couples that have sex ultimately develop what psychologists call a “sexual script,” a sort of blueprint to how they do the deed.
It was couples who had good communication about sex that nailed their scripts down. But even if they weren’t on the same page, the partners were pretty cognizant of their lovers’ lack of sexual satisfaction.
Male or female, their intuition was on point when it came to their honest takes on how happy their partners were with their sexual prowess.
“We believe that having the ability to accurately gauge each other’s sexual satisfaction will help partners to develop sexual scripts that they both enjoy, specifically, being able to tell if their partners are sexually satisfied will help people decide whether to stick with a current routine or try something new,” she said.
Previous Canadian research on sex published earlier this year considered the implications of having sex when you’re just not in the mood.
The verdict? Our reasons for going into the bedroom are just as important as the frequency of times that we get intimate. While most people believe that more is better, the study’s bottom line was that you better make each time count.
“What we’re finding is that all sex isn’t created equal. Some sex leads to more positive outcomes than others,” Amy Muise said. She’s a professor at the University of Toronto, where she specializing in sexual motivation research.
“That’s my take-home message. Your reasons for having sex matter,” she had told Global News.
In the meantime, Fallis hopes her findings help to dispel the common notion that men and women can’t communicate. She plans on studying what happens to a relationship when a couple is or isn’t accurately assessing their partners’ sexual happiness.
Her latest findings were published Thursday morning in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.