At Parenting Power, our focus question for 2014 is “What is Parenting?” We have begun to witness that over time, parents are undertaking so many extra tasks that it doesn’t leave time for the essential basics of parenting.
The big problem here is that Parenting “Extras”are the external parts; they are not what goes into building the internal core of a self-disciplined, confident child.
Parenting “Extras”
- Driving
- Coaching
- Scheduling extra-curricular activities for your kids
- Friday movie night
- Trips
- Shopping
- Buying them the right outfits, sporting equipment
- Finding the right piano teacher, or personal trainer
- Over –praising kids
- Bragging about them – tweeting, posting, bumper stickers
- Shaming them
- Looking at a screen rather than a child
- Rescuing kids from their consequences
- Financial support into adulthood
- Paying for the best school
It’s not that driving our kids to activities and being sure that they have things to wear and eat aren’t necessary; they are (in moderation). What is critical is that the true basics of parenting are being left out of the mix to make time for many of these external things.These externals can’t and don’t replace REAL parenting.
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What are the essentials of parenting?
Parenting is presence – eye to eye and shoulder to shoulder presence.
Parenting is about discipline – taking the time to set age appropriate expectations including morals and values, coupled with consequences.
Parenting is allowing your child to learn, grow and feel capable through their choices both good and bad. Our kids are going to make poor choices and that’s where they will learn the most.
Parenting is about providing opportunities to have purpose in the home through consistent responsibilities – letting kids learn that they are capable and that they contribute to their community (family and beyond).
Parenting is about teaching values to our kids through our daily behaviours while we are with them.
Parenting is about connection; one-on-one connection.
Parenting is about making time to teach your child to catch a ball and ride a bike and play a game. It is about teaching them that it is normal for people to disagree and then teaching them how to respectfully solve disagreements.
Parenting is about not over-scheduling our kids. It is about teaching them the schedules of life – how long it takes to finish breakfast, brush teeth, get into coats and get into the car – not nagging them and hounding them but letting them learn to manage it on their own.
Please don’t be too busy to parent. Your kids need you. It is your duty.
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