MONTREAL — With Valentine’s Day around the corner, chances are many of you are getting ready to go out on a first date.
Global News’ etiquette expert Nancy Kosik shared a few ideas for how to avoid squirm-worthy moments with a few etiquette tips that will help first-daters take on Valentine’s Day with some savoir faire.
Asking for a date
Your approach when asking someone out is key to achieving a positive response, noted Kosik.
“It takes courage to ask someone out on a day as special as Valentine’s Day.”
That being said, don’t be a coward. If you’re going to ask someone out, don’t text or send a cute email.
Extend the invitation in person or at least by phone.
“You want to build a relationship from the get go, and your invite is a great opportunity to do so,” Koskik said.
Be sure to approach your date with a positive attitude to set the tone.
“It will dictate the mood of the person you speak with, and be most likely to create a positive response,” Kosik said.
Responding to an invite
Saying yes is easy. But what if you want out?
Nancy advises using the “sandwich method.”
Yes, you guessed it: start with something positive, decline, then end with a flattering statement. Get it?
“I’m so flattered you chose me to spend Valentine’s day with, but I have plans. Whoever gets to go out with you is a lucky gal or guy.”
Be honest. If you are not interested, do say so.
Courtesies for romantic dates
- Pick her up, unless she advises against it
- If she meets you, arrive ahead of time and meet her at the door
- Open doors for one another — it displays kindness for the other person
- Hold her chair as she approaches to sit
- Stand if she excuses herself
- Give the other person your undivided attention (ahem, no phones allowed!)
- Have her order first
- Wait to be served before you eat
- Offer to taste or share your food.
- Say thank you and be kind to serving staff
- Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu
Ending the Date
It’s without a doubt a delicate dance and plenty of questions race through everyone’s minds. Do I ? Should I? Will she? Will he?
Kosik recommends avoiding awkward endings by driving her home. If you’re not driving, share a cab and drop her off first.
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Talk about it. Expressing your plans and intentions will ease uncertainties. A thoughtful date could say, for example: “Let me drop you off at home to make sure you get home safe and I’ll continue on,” suggested Kosik.
“Who knows, putting her in the drivers seat may coax her into asking you to stick around.”
If she insists on returning home on her own, ask her to call or send a short text to ensure she arrived safely.
The day after
Send a thank you the very next morning. Do not wait more than 12 hours. Keep it simple, sweet and charming.
“Thanks for a really nice evening. I had a great time. Have a great day.”
Kosik said she can guarantee that if first-daters use these tips they will be well on their way to creating a sensational date.
Nancy Kosik is the director of the Nancy Kosik Academy of International Protocol and Etiquette (NKAIPE), which is based in Montreal, Quebec. She provides etiquette, protocol consultation and training around the world.
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