Run for the Cure 2

I knew Ron Lancaster mainly in his later years as a coach. I never had the privilege of playing for the man but every time my contract was over he always was one of the first to call. In fact, the first time I went through free agency he even called me while I was on my way to the Toronto airport to catch a flight to Ottawa to sign. He offered me a contract over the phone for “whatever they are giving you.” He wanted me to pass the airport and drive straight to Hamilton to do the paper work. Ever since then we’ve had a good relationship. Even when he left the sidelines I still addressed him as “coach.” He was a hard worker and seemed to like the kind of players who, maybe were not the most talented, but liked to work hard. I’d like to think that the reason I almost became a Ti-Cat was because he saw some of those qualities in a young kid coming up out of Western Ontario, or maybe it was just because we share a birthday.

I actually wrote the following blog a few weeks ago and was just waiting to submit it closer to October (breast cancer awareness month and “the Run for the Cure”) but now seems like as good a time as any. The passing of Rider legend Ron Lancaster last night just goes to show that cancer has no boundaries, no one is immune, and everyone is affected by this vicious murderer.

My Story….

My story is unfortunately like so many other stories out there. In 2002 Taroub Neimi, a woman who’s husband immigrated to Canada with my dad from Lebanon in the mid 60’s, and I knew my entire life was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had never had a mammogram done and by the time she finally went to the doctors and found out she had the disease it was too late. She was given only a short time to say good bye to her 3 teenage kids, but gave my mom, Lorna, the best advice she ever had: GO GET A MAMMOGRAM!  This piece of advice may have added years to my mom’s life as in the summer of 2003 my mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer. Due to the long line ups in the Toronto hospitals associated to the SARS epidemic that was running through the city my mom’s lumpectomy surgery was delayed until the scare had settled down. When she finally did get the surgery the surgeon noticed that the cancer had spread, just a little, into the lymph nods and some had to be removed, but he was convinced they had got it all and after a few chemo treatments everything would be okay. Well, if you know about cancer it is spread through the lymph in your body and sadly by Christmas of 2003 the cancer was back and had found a home in her liver. The doctors told her that this type of cancer was inoperable. Something about if the tumour was exposed to oxygen it would spread exponentially, essentially running from the air.

At this time life was good for me, my football career was taking off, I had bought my first house in Ottawa, I had met my future wife, thing’s were good. When my mom told me that the cancer was back we had come back to Toronto to visit for the weekend and when the lights went out that night and everyone was in bed I cried like I have never cried before. I sobbed and sobbed, finding it hard to catch my breath. I thought “big boys don’t cry” but I knew what no son ever wants to know, that his mom was going to die.

Now I’m a pretty big boy, but I am also, and always have been a huge mama’s boy. I was raised to treat my mom, and all women like princesses (I wish I was better at this, but I try my best). No one said or did anything bad to my mom when I was around or else… But finding out that your mom (or wife or daughter) has inoperable terminal cancer is a feeling like no other. There is no one to defend your mom from, only a silent, invisible killer.

I always thought I got my toughness from my dad, but now I know I just have his temper (and his huge nose). My mom is defiantly the toughest person I know. When the doctor told her she had 12 months to live in the summer of 2004 she said “No.” She set a goal for herself that I will never forget: May 2006. I don’t know why she chose this date, maybe because it was double what the docs were telling her or maybe she hoped to see her baby’s (me) baby, whatever it was she sold her self short because she traveled out here last month against doctors orders to checkout a Rider home game. This was awesome for me because my mom has not been able to come to one of my games in years, not even last seasons Grey Cup 20 minutes from her house in Toronto, too much walking.

My mom’s main goal was not to become “a patient.” The cancer has spread, just a little, and there are a few things that she can not do anymore but she stays active and drives my dad nuts because she never stays home. She’s always either at the mall or hanging out with my nieces and nephew who live a few short blocks away.  She has taken multiple new cancer meds and experimental treatments but in my opinion the thing that has kept her running around 4 years after the experts said she’d be gone  is that she refuses to give into the disease, she wont be cancer’s patient and this is why I am so passionate about the “Run For the Cure.”

My wife, Kathie’s mom also had a battle with breast cancer and Kathie was her moms main support valve at the time. She is in full remission now but it was an ugly ruthless battle. Kathie and her mom exposed me to the “Run for the Cure” for the first time in Ottawa shortly after we found out that my mom’s illness was terminal. I went to the run (walk) that year not having raised a dime and truth be told I didn’t really want to do it. It was too soon, I didn’t want to see all the families who have lost their loved ones, nor did I want to see sick women moping around, I didn’t think I could take it. When we arrived at the walk our dog Jazz took a huge dump in the middle of the road, boy was that funny, but there were not any “patients” there and all those who had suffered loss were not moping around but celebrating the life of those who were not with them. Pink was everywhere, wigs, hats, boas, balloons, everything was pink! Bald women dancing in the streets, little girls wearing t-shirts with pictures of their moms on the front, it was great.and not one patient in the whole crowd.

We have now done the walk in every city we have lived in, Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg and Regina, and every year we raise a couple hundred bucks but this year I feel it is our duty to blow this thing out of the water and show people what Rider Nation can do once we get behind something. I don’t really understand what or how the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation spends the money on, I know it is research and experimental treatments but I don’t really understand but I do know, and it is clear to me that without a positive outlook you are waiting to die. My mom has never been a patient and the ladies that do this walk are not patients either. It is heart warming to see them and their families in this walk. It is their day and we need to celebrate with and for our princesses.

Sorry to everyone who logged on looking for a story on how badly we are going to beat the Lions on Saturday. Just pick up a paper or turn on the news, the media has been all over the OLine after last week’s performance. The best thing about last week is that it is last week.

Check out my auction on my new website www.abou67.com  All the money raised through the auction will go to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and I encourage everyone to come to the Walk on October 5^th, its awesome…if you don’t know; now you know.