The most dangerous liars of all

When people in the public eye get accused of doing something bad, some ‘fess up right away while others avoid the press, make no comment, deny the allegations meekly or use very evasive language. Then there are those who not only boldly and confidently deny any and all accusations; they go after their accusers full force. They deflect blame or responsibility and try to shift the focus elsewhere. They try to compel others that they in fact are the real victim. They challenge anyone to provide evidence. They claim to have their own evidence to vindicate themselves and say they will reveal it promptly. They speak with such conviction that most people infer that they must be telling the truth because no reasonable person would ever make such claims in such a manner without having the proof to back up their words.

In the end, either they have no evidence, they may claim that something mysteriously happened to it, or it is not nearly as compelling as they made it seem. Sometimes their supposed evidence actually proves the allegations against them. When confronted with such realities, the liar will use the same kind of evasive or aggressive tactics described above, with the sole purpose of confusing, misdirecting and distracting everyone. The liar will continue to speak with the same unwavering confidence, to assert that they are the real victim, and to point fingers elsewhere.

People will often believe them and give them more benefit of the doubt than they and their lies deserve because of the compelling manner with which they speak. Another reason is because the other people have already psychologically committed to believing the convincing person. Changing their mind too quickly can lead to cognitive, emotional or psychological tension and discomfort, thus they may unconsciously distort the information they subsequently receive to fit into the position they have already adopted.

What this does to victims

This process occurs all the time, not only in the media but also in the workplace and in intimate relationships. In most cases, the true victims, the ones whom the liar attacks either beforehand or once the truth starts to come out, are left mentally, emotionally, psychologically and even physically drained. They start to doubt themselves because what they know to be true is being denied outright by the liar. Soon, the real victim is the one who is being portrayed as the problem. The scariest thing is that most people around the liar and victim end up believing the liar because they are so convincing.

Anyone who has been in such a situation can identify with most, if not all, of the points above. They also found out that they were dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder or anti-social personality disorder. In the worst cases, they may even be dealing with a psychopath or sociopath, who always have narcissistic personality disorders but are even more dangerous and ruthless because they will typically not stop until they have completely ruined their victim’s career, family relationships or anything else important to them.

How to cope

In some cases, the victim is lucky enough to get others to believe them and in rare instances can even fight back effectively against their attacker. In far too many cases, the narcissistic/sociopathic liar is able to convince others that fair is foul and foul is fair. In the workplace especially, those who are in a position to stop the dangerous employees–who are statistically over-represented in relatively high or powerful positions–are too ignorant, incompetent, unaware or afraid to deal with the situation. In the end, the victims are usually left to fend for themselves as they begin to question their own sanity and watch their world deteriorate.

If someone feels that they may be dealing with such a dangerous individual, they need to do their research and find out as much as they can about such personality types. They should also familiarize themselves with the law, which states that secretly recording interactions with someone else is entirely legal as long as they are part of the interaction (Criminal Code of Canada 183.1). In many cases, such secret recordings are the only thing that saved the victims from personal or professional disaster.

Most incidents involving narcissists, sociopaths and other types of treacherous liars do not make the headlines. That does not make the impact any less devastating for those unfortunate enough to become the target of such menacing and destructive individuals.