A small-town jogger is in it deep after being accused in a serial public defecation case, according to police in Fishers, Ind.
Authorities say they’ve cracked the case of a woman who has been pooping on neighbourhood lawns during her early-morning jogs through the town. Officers urged the unidentified woman to seek professional help, though she may still face charges — especially if she continues to be such a crappy neighbour.
Several residents recently shared their stories about the serial pooper with local broadcaster WTHR, in hopes that someone would help identify her.
“We call her The Pooper. … We have lots of names for her,” Fisher resident Angie Kiley told the broadcaster. “Last week, or the week before, she did it in three or four different yards down the street — every other yard.”
Kiley added that the deuce-dropping delinquent always comes prepared to clean herself up afterward, though she doesn’t extend that courtesy to her neighbours.
“The toilet paper is the calling card,” Kiley said. “We know when we see that, that she’s been around.”
Neighbour Monique Miller added that the jogger leaves her discarded TP behind with her BMs.
“We have found droppings in our yards,” she said. “She carries her own toilet paper and she just leaves the toilet paper behind with her droppings.”
Residents in the neighbourhood of Windermere have put out “no pooping” signs in hopes of deterring the unwelcome turd-dropper. They also spent several days trying to identify her on social media.
“There’s videos on Nextdoor and Reddit of her pulling this crap,” one local wrote to police on Facebook.
“As long as everything comes out OK in the end,” another wrote.
One local managed to capture footage of the fecal offender earlier this week on a doorbell cam, which ultimately led police to the culprit.
Authorities announced on Thursday that they’d identified the woman.
They added that she was the No. 2 suspect in the case, after at least one other individual was falsely accused by locals on social media. Police warned the public about giving people a bum rap in a statement on Thursday.
“We caution residents against sharing information related to criminal investigations that has not been verified by the police,” the department wrote on Facebook.
The unidentified pooper is not the first jogger to drop trou and relieve herself along her running route. Colorado Springs grappled with a “Mad Pooper” who did the same in 2017, while Toronto dealt with its own run-by dumper back in 2018.
The phenomenon is commonly known as runner’s trots, and it’s thought to affect 20-50 per cent of athletes either during or immediately after exercise. The cause is unclear but experts at the Mayo Clinic say there are ways to deal with it, such as drinking lots of water and limiting your intake of fiber, sugar alcohols, caffeine and milk products before a run.
In other words, the Fishers jogger might have a medical reason for her frequent bowel movements, but there’s no reason she can’t poop and scoop.
Police did not lay charges against the woman, though they say she could still face them in the future — if she doesn’t get her s— together.
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