January 9, 2019 11:45 am
Updated: January 9, 2019 2:12 pm

Stephen Colbert mocks Trump’s prime-time speech: ‘If you watch it, you will want to hurt yourself’

WATCH 'Bird Box Part 2: The Trump Address.'

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Many late-night hosts mocked U.S. President Donald Trump Tuesday evening for his prime-time speech in the Oval Office behind the Resolute desk but Stephen Colbert decided to go with a spoof sequel to Netflix’s Bird Box.

Trump interrupted prime-time TV to defend the government shutdown and claim his wall is a necessity against the “humanitarian crisis” along the U.S-Mexico border.

WATCH BELOW: The latest on Donald Trump’s prime-time speech


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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert host said Trump practically wrote his material for him.

READ MORE: Stephen Colbert reveals ‘sketch’ of U.S. serial bomber, criticizes Trump’s response

In Bird Box, main character Malorie (Sandra Bullock) is trying to get her two children to a sanctuary located at the end of a long river, and they must remain blindfolded at all times. Why? Because unidentified creatures are all around them, and if you see one, you’re driven to instant suicide or insanity.

WATCH BELOW: Bird Box trailer

“Listen to me, I’m only going to say this once. Under no circumstance are you allowed to take off your blindfold. If you take it off I will hurt you. Do you understand?” a woman in Colbert’s spoof tells a boy and girl.

She continues: “The president is making a speech tonight about the crisis on the border,” she said, giving her best Bullock impression.

“There’s a crisis?” the boy asks.

“No, there’s no crisis. The point is that the speech will be so insane that if you watch it, you will want to hurt yourselves,” she tells them.

READ MORE: Netflix urges people to stop hurting themselves with ‘Bird Box’ challenge

He noted that his show was taping around 5:30 p.m. ET, so he didn’t know what his actual reaction to the speech would be — so he told his audience that he was going to “cover all my bases.”

Colbert then laid out two scenarios of how he thought the speech could go.

“Congratulations Mr. President, glad you interrupted our lives so you could read your tweets out loud,” he said.

His second option included Trump confessing to “everything.”

“My God, he just confessed to everything,” Colbert joked, “Russia, obstruction, his dad shot Warren G. Harding. I can’t believe he handed the presidency over to Michelle Obama and then got dragged into the back of a paddy wagon screaming, ‘I’m the real Christmas queen.’”

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. ET/PT on Global.

Watch Colbert reveal the sketch in the video above.

— With files from Chris Jancelewicz

© 2019 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

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