Janet Jackson is opening up about her “intense” battle with depression.
In an exclusive letter for the newest edition of Essence magazine, the music icon reveals it has taken decades for her to find happiness and inner peace, breaking down her experiences and struggles throughout her childhood, teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s.
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The Rhythm Nation singer says her 30s were the most difficult years due to her intense struggle with depression.
“I could analyze the source of my depression forever. Low self-esteem might be rooted in childhood feelings of inferiority. It could relate to failing to meet impossibly high standards,” she writes.
Jackson continues: “And, of course, there are always the societal issues of racism and sexism. Put it all together and depression is a tenacious and scary condition. Thankfully, I found my way through it.”
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Finally, at 52, Jackson says that her greatest joy comes from being a parent to her one-year-old son Eissa.
“Now the height of happiness is holding my baby son in my arms and hearing him coo, or when I look into his smiling eyes and watch him respond to my tenderness,” Jackson writes. “When I kiss him. When I sing him softly to sleep. During those sacred times, happiness is everywhere. Happiness is in gratitude to God. Happiness is saying, ‘Thank you, God, for my life, my energy, and my capacity to grow in love’.”
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Jackson, who will be headlining the 2018 Essence Festival in New Orleans next month, also shares that throughout her life, her work was always her motivation.
Now, the singer says that the generation of young people who have committed to justice have inspired her the most, especially during the “Me Too” movement.
“We are living at a time in history when women all over the world are refusing to be controlled, manipulated, exploited, or abused. Heart and soul, I stand with these women,” she writes. “We have found our strength, and we will not relent.”
You can read Jackson’s entire letter in the July/August issue of ESSENCE, out on June 22.