When Heidi Hamm was tired of picking up her kids’ toys every night, she came up with a simple solution.
The writer based in Calgary posted a message for all parents on the Facebook page Her View From Home last week, explaining why she finally shut the door on a messy room full of toys.
“For years I would spend a few minutes every night, cleaning up after my kids. I would hate to calculate just how many hours of my life have been spent picking up toys. A heck of a lot,” she wrote on the social media site.
“I love a clean house. I do. It’s the one thing in my life that I feel like I have complete control over. If my environment is organized, life is just, better,” she continued.
READ MORE: The benefits of practicing self-care
“But, kids. I love them. So much. They’re amazing little humans. But they’re messy. And they don’t care. I don’t get it. Clearly they are lacking in the clean gene department.”
The 44-year-old mom-of-three says parents are often bombarded with the idea that they can have it all. Parents can also feel a sense of guilt or embarrassment if their home isn’t tidy.
“Having it all can come with a price. We tend to compare ourselves with others who are in similar situations and if we don’t measure up to the images we see on social media we tend to feel guilty,” she tells Global News.
Closing the door
Hamm continued she came to the decision after one night her husband found her organizing toys.
“My husband found me on my hands and knees, colour co-ordinating the Lego. Did I mention I like things organized?” she wrote.
“I was exhausted. Which is a common state for me. ‘Why don’t you just shut the door?’ he asked,” she continued.
“I stared up at him. It’s possible it was more of a glare. I had been expecting him to join me on the floor, sifting through the mountain of Lego. Instead, he offered me those seven words. Apparently, it was all I needed.”
Hamm says as a writer in the parenting circle, she often reads a lot of commentary about parents making time for themselves or making time for “self-care.” But she says this can become incredibly difficult to do sometimes.
“I started to realize that self-care isn’t always about date nights or large blocks of time without the kids. It’s also as simple as shutting a door. I felt that there were others who could also relate to this,” she says.
In her post, she adds self-care can mean hiding a stash of chocolate for yourself or putting the kids to bed early so you can cuddle with your partner.
Social media users react
Online, social media users related to Hamm’s story and even offered up other solutions to get your kids to clean up after themselves.
“I keep bedroom doors shut a lot. As much as I love their rooms to be clean all the time … it’s their personal space where things are just as they want it,” user Jennifer Harrell wrote.
“They will learn when something gets lost and they can’t find it! I’ll tell my kids it’s not my problem, I’m not responsible for keeping track of your stuff. Then maybe they’ll be more aware of keeping the space and things organized/tidy,” user Heather Erin Mitchell wrote.
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Others believed messy rooms often meant too many toys.
“My suggestion is to stop buying your kids so many toys. Also, go through toys a few times a year and have them help make a keep and donate pile,” user Nicole North wrote.
“We just get rid of toys when there’s too much to put away easily. If there’s a toy set they can’t easily put away themselves, we get rid of it … They don’t even notice when they’re gone,” user Ria Wallace wrote.
Blogger One Creative Mommy notes getting kids to clean means narrowing down the process into three steps: Get them to make their bed, have five-minute sorting sessions and let them do it alone.
“How soon the kids can do this alone will depend on the child and the child’s age,” the blog adds.
Importance of self-care
Hamm says self-care, in general, is not something a lot of parents make a priority.
READ MORE: Self-care tricks for Moms
It’s been a few weeks since her original post went up, and Hamm says the room looks the same. Currently, she has the children themselves cleaning it once a week.
“The kids are typical kids. Cleaning up toys still isn’t their favourite chore. However, knowing the expectation of cleaning once a week has alleviated a lot of stress for all of us. They’re happy. We’re happy.”
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