It’s quite obvious, but it doesn’t seem to be in practice: always be open to your partner about sex.
A recent study from the University College London, the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, and NatCen Social Research, found women living with their partners were twice as likely to lose interest in sex compared to men.
The findings, which have been recently published in BMJ Open, found British women who were in relationships for more than a year, more likely reported lacking interest in sex compared to those in short-term relationships.
“Many factors — sociodemographic, relationships, and attitudes — all affect the likelihood of having low sexual interest problems,” co-author Cynthia A. Graham tells Global News. “The findings suggest that emotional and intimacy aspects of sex are very important determinants of sexual satisfaction.”
Why are women no longer interested?
To collect data, researchers interviewed 6,669 women and 4,839 men aged between 16 and 74, who had been with at least one sexual partner in the last year. “Overall, 34 per cent of women and 15 per cent of men reported lacking interest in sex. Half of these people — 62 per cent of women and 53 per cent of men — said that they were distressed by their lack of interest in sex,” researchers noted in a statement.
The study also revealed why some men and women had low interest in sex in the first place. Sexually transmitted infections, having sex without consent, poor mental and physical health and not feeling emotionally close to a partner, all contributed to the lack of interest.
Among women, in particular, having three or more partners in the year or children under the age of five in the home, resulted in lower interest overall. On top of this, not sharing the same sexual likes and dislikes was also a concern.
“Open communication about sex, although often difficult, will likely reduce the likelihood of experiencing reduced sexual interest,” Graham says.
Other reasons why we lose interest
“It’s important to note that some people also lose interest in sex because it’s simply not satisfying,” she says. “If this is the case, it’s a fairly easy fix: show or teach your partner and yourself how to make it more satisfying.”
If you start to lose interest sexually
And the fact that some women aren’t satisfied with their sex lives doesn’t surprise O’Reilly etiher.
“Our brains are hardwired to respond to novelty. Predictability is nice too, but if you want excitement, you’re often inclined to newness,” she says. And for anyone who feels like they are losing interest in sex with their partner, O’Reilly says it is completely normal.
“A decline in sexual interest is not necessarily a sign that the relationship is not meant to be or that something is awry,” she says. “We need to rid ourselves of romanticized notions of so-called true love; passionate desire and passionate love are not meant to last a lifetime — but companion is.”
If you want passion and desire, she adds, you have to cultivate it on your own.
“If you wait until you’re in the mood for sex to have it, you may never do it; sometimes you have to put yourself in the mood. It’s up to you to learn how to put yourself in the mood and teach your partner to help you out in this respect.”