Kelly Oxford rose to fame for her clever and witty tweets as a stay-at-home mom in Calgary, Alta. In the summer of 2012, she moved to Los Angeles with her husband and three kids to pursue writing.
This week, she is touring Canada to promote her new book When you find out the world is against you. It’s a collection of stories about the absurd and hilarious daily moments in her life as a mom and writer.
I sat down with Oxford – a mother to Salinger, 15; Henry, 13; and Beatrix, 8 – during a stop in Edmonton.
Laurel Gregory: What are your kids into now?
Kelly Oxford: Bea is into Friends. She’s watching a lot of Friends. She’s very into it. Phoebe is her favourite — and Joey (laughs). She’s into skateboarding and she’s learning how to surf. Henry is at this stage where he just wants to go to parties with his friends because he’s just started going to parties and he’s a very social person so he wants to have a party every weekend, which is fine by me because his friends are very sweet and very cute and they’re all 13-year-old boys. Sal is a normal 16-year-old girl. She also has her friends over all the time and she’s into TV production and film-making at her school.
READ MORE: Women share groping stories on social media after Donald Trump boasts about grabbing
LG: I want to talk about #notokay in the context of being a role model to two daughters. Why was that important to you in the message you send to them or in what you’re showing them about being a woman?
KO: I’m trying to actually switch it from being about the two daughters to being about the one boy and teaching him about consent and what he can do with his friends and how to raise a man to understand that women aren’t objects.
I think we do put so much pressure on girls in what they can do to protect themselves when really, men aren’t terrible people, they just need to be given the tools to learn how to treat women as human beings rather than objects. I think talking with my son and his friends is of the utmost concern to me before talking to my daughters.
WATCH: Kelly Oxford’s tweet prompts thousands of women to share personal stories of sexual assault
The #notokay movement for them was probably pretty profound in a way that they don’t understand yet because thankfully neither of them have had to experience any sexual assault yet — and hopefully they never do — but you never know if someone is going to grab you on the subway in a day. I think having the discussion and normalizing it will help. Just everybody talk about it more which I think is really important.
Watch below: She found celebrity and opportunity by channelling her wit in 140 characters. Now, Alberta’s Kelly Oxford’s latest writing project shifts from the absurd to the impactful. Laurel Gregory has more.
LG: How do you talk to Henry about it?
KO: He’s just 13 and he’s just starting to look at girls so I’m just getting into the water of it. Clearly, I discussed that locker room talk isn’t really a thing and what locker room talk is is really objectifying women and rape culture. I’ve explained all of that stuff to him but as far as talking about dating or being around women, I haven’t gone into that with him yet because he’s — I’m guessing — about eight months off of that right now. I don’t want to freak him out too much before he gets any ideas into his head (laughs).
LG: I love this line that you wrote: “If we all don’t become better people than our parents, what is the point of any of this?” When you’re raising your kids, do you feel pressure in that way?
KO: No, I think genetically you’re born smarter, able to make better choices, than your parents were able to make and I think that’s just something that every parent has to accept and accept their kids as individuals immediately.
My 16-year-old is so much more grounded than I was at 16.
I can trust her implicitly, she shares everything with me and I think that’s the point — is that we want to raise people who are better than we were because really, what is the point of even having kids if we aren’t going to do that?
LG: In your role as a mom, what are you most proud of?
KO: Probably letting them be individuals and respecting their individual choices and fostering their own likes and dislikes even at times when I wish there were maybe other things they were doing.
LG: Where do you see yourself in five years?
KO: Doing the exact same thing I’m doing now but with kids that are all five years older (laughs)!
Comments