The mother of a soon-to-be five-year-old is “getting stressed” about her daughter’s weight, despite acknowledging there’s “no fat” on her body.
The girl’s 55-pound weight on her “very tall” four-foot frame is “just about fine” according to a Body Mass Index (BMI) calculator, her mom admitted on a public online forum Wednesday.
Yet she confessed that she’d like to help her daughter drop a couple pounds or keep her weight “static” for the rest of the year. So she’s started to watch her diet a lot more.
“It makes me sad to be stricter but it is for her own good,” the mother wrote.
Needless to say, the backlash was swift.
“Leave the poor girl alone,” one commenter pleaded.
“Please don’t give her a complex,” another one added. “It will lead to life-long issues.”
That concern was backed up by a recent study out of Cornell University titled Don’t Eat So Much: How Parent Comments Relate to Female Weight Satisfaction.
It surveyed more than 500 women aged 20 to 35, and found when a woman remembered parents talking about her weight as a child, she was more likely to be dissatisfied with it as an adult — even if she fell within the “normal” BMI range.
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It’s not the first time this mom has expressed concern about her daughter’s weight. Last summer, she posted an admission on the same forum that she watches her daughter’s food intake “like a hawk.”
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She explained in her most recent post that her two older boys are skinny but have a different build so she’s never had to worry about them before.
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Commenting on a child’s body size can lead to eating disorders and self-esteem problems, Vancouver-based registered psychologist Lisa Ferrari told Global News earlier this year.
So what are concerned parents supposed to do?
Don’t focus on dieting, eat at the dinner table together, and encourage exercise for fitness, not weight loss.
Those three recommendations were part of a new set of guidelines set out by doctors at Stanford University, meant to help parents address obesity and eating disorders in teens in a healthy way.
Ferrari said it also helps to consult with a pediatrician, your family physician or a nutritionist. Children might find professional feedback less judgmental and may receive it more positively, she explained.
READ MORE: Are you still using BMI to measure your health? Don’t, docs say
For parents worried about their child’s weight and eager to tackle the sensitive topic on their own, tread gently.
Ferrari suggested avoiding labels “like chubby, big-boned, heavy, or fat” when talking about anyone’s appearance (including your own) in front of your kids.
“No talk of calories or losing 10 pounds before the family vacation, dissatisfaction with your own size or what your scale says,” she stressed.
Also, don’t single out one child by forcing a special diet on them. Focus instead on healthy choices for all family members and model good eating habits yourself.
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And remember that there’s nothing wrong with a treat here and there in moderation.
“We don’t want our girls to feel guilty, weak or bad when it comes to their eating or their weight,” Ferrari said, “especially when they have a moderate amount of calorie- or fat-rich food in the midst of a balanced nutrient-rich diet.”
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