LONDON – In a day filled with heartbreaking admissions of grief, the statement from Tori Stafford’s older brother Darren rang out louder than any other for its concise description of overwhelming grief, and the maturity apparent through the words of an anxiety filled 14-year-old.
“He suffers from unbelievable guilt,” Tara McDonald said about Darren, “for not being able to protect his little sister.”
Suffering from what his mother calls “unbelievable guilt,” Darren tried to explain to the court and Michael Rafferty – the man convicted of killing his sister – the state of his crumbling life.
Darren Stafford, just 11 at the time, was the last member of Tori’s family to see her on April 8, 2009.
Just after 3p.m., as they left Oliver Stephens Public School, Darren recalled vividly for the courtroom his last memory of Tori minutes before she would be led into the waiting arms of convicted rapist and killer Michael Rafferty.
“We were arguing like any brother and sister, but when school was done and we parted, I didn’t know I would never get to see her again,” Darren’s statement read.
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April 8 was the first day Tori was to walk home alone – her first day without having the guiding hand of her older brother.
Darren didn’t read his statement in court – a support worker read it on his behalf – but that did not act as a barrier to the raw emotion present in the young man’s words.
Rafferty showed more emotion during Darren’s statement than at any other point in the trial.
Visibly crying, lip quivering, surrounded by a red face, Rafferty now a convicted killer, was clearly aware of the pain inflicted on his victim’s older brother.
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“My sister was the only person I had to talk to, someone that felt what I felt, cried when I cried, laughed when I laughed, and now I feel alone,” Darren’s statement read. “Like the world is playing a sick trick on me, but it’s not, this is my reality.”
Darren’s statement also described the crippling anxiety that has been inflicted upon him since the day Tori disappeared, and is painfully afraid of the world around him.
“I can’t walk by myself without watching behind me. I can’t sleep because of nightmares and my fear of the dark, and I can’t be alone,” Darren wrote.
Outside the court Tara McDonald, Tori’s mother, said she was proud of her son. Inside the court Darren’s statement gave but a glimpse into the fractured reality of Tori’s family.
“I have a dad who is also dealing with thoughts around this situation, a mom who is an addict because she doesn’t know how to cope… and a totally fractured family,” Darren wrote.
“My family is torn. My mom and dad cannot get along… my dad’s side of my family sometimes can’t stand each other, and the same with my mom’s.”
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