Funny lady Beth Stelling’s Instagram feed turned serious recently as the comedian opened up about abuse she suffered in a past relationship.
In a post Monday, Stelling shared pictures showing one of her arms and both legs covered in bruises.
“These photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional,” Stelling’s caption accompanying the photos said.
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“When I broke up with my ex- this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it’s not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding.
“It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.”
Stelling writes that she has avoided starting a “war” with her ex, hasn’t pressed charges and wants to move on with her life. But pretending it never happened isn’t an option for Stelling.
https://www.instagram.com/p/_2AwgCQzty/
“I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I’ve always been; I make dark, funny.”
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She writes that when she has opened up about the abuse, she’s been encouraged by women to keep discussing this often-avoided topic, and “Men have shown their solidarity.”
Stelling says it’s important people understand that rapes don’t just happen by strangers in an alley, that often the abuse can happen in your own home.
“I don’t have all the answers. I’m doing my best to work through this.”
There were 88,000 victims of family violence reported to police in Canada in 2013, according to Statistics Canada. Just under half of those cases were by a current or former spouse.
READ MORE: ‘He beat me to a pulp’: B.C. faces ‘epidemic’ of domestic violence
Women represent nearly 80 per cent of intimate partner violence victims, as reported to police.
Two-thirds of Canadians have known a woman who has experienced physical or sexual abuse, according to the Canadian Women’s Foundation. Less than 10 per cent of sexual assaults are reported to police.
Los Angeles-based Stelling has been working the comedy scene for the last few years, appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Conan and Last Call with Carson Daily.
Many fellow comedians have since rallied around Stelling.
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