The news that Canada can’t expect to add Turks and Caicos’s picturesque beaches as an 11th province dismayed many in the Great White North. So we’ve compiled a list of decent alternatives.
Bermuda:
Pro: Despite the vast differences between climates, Bermuda is similar to Canada as both have a reputation of being home to some of the nicest people in the world. And the island’s 65,000 permanent residents speak English with a “Bermudian lilt,” according to its’ official travel site, which can only add to the charm of Canada’s Newfie accents.
Con: Bermuda Triangle. Also, harmonizing taxation systems may take some work.
Santorini:
Pro: What Canada needs is a getaway with a built-in workout plan. The variance in elevation in Santorini is perfect for that. Travellers can visit without the worry of packing on the pounds because the island is one never-ending Stairmaster. Also, Greece’s tourist site says it is “probably the only volcano in the world whose crater is in the sea.”
Con: We can’t think of any. A crater in the sea, people. Plus, wouldn’t we be doing Greece a favour, taking this extra island off its hands?
Bora Bora:
Pro: The idyllic French Polynesian island gives anglo-Canadians a great place to brush up on their passé composé.
Con: There’s been some regional awkwardness over independence and nuclear testing. Do we need the extra baggage?
Fiji:
Pro: Famed for its bottled water, Fiji is also known for a drink called Kava, made from a root pounded to a fine powder and extracted into water, creating a muddy looking drink. The drink is supposed to ease stress and anxiety, which we could definitely use.
Con: Would their election-driven job-creation fit with Canada’s Economic Action Plan?
Falkland Islands:
Pro: If Argentina and the UK can’t agree on whose they are, it’s only fair if Canada takes them.
Con: The proliferation of sea lions, elephant seals, fur seals and five (five!) species of penguins would easily out-cute any mammal found on Canada’s mainland.
Do you have suggestions on paradisical islands Canada should annex? Tell us in the comments below.
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