Sharing stories of adversity: 3 women striving to inspire others

Over the last few weeks I have had the privilege and honour to meet a trio of women who have left me in awe. They have come forward in their darkest times to share their stories, either to help others or to thank those who have helped them.

Each is unique and special, but what they share is an incomparable inner strength.

Monica Lockie invited me into her home just one month after her son 21-year-old Cole died from an overdose of the prescription painkiller Fentanyl, a drug Monica had never heard of until his death.

The grief still etched on her face, choking up, she spoke of an artistic young man — the kind who left an impression on everyone who knew him.

Battling drug addictions he expressed himself through painting, music and poetry, doing everything wholeheartedly.

Monica’s story couldn’t be more painful.

Her husband is a firefighter and was on duty when Cole died. It was his crew that was called to the scene.

“So his worst nightmare came true, that you go to a call and that you actually go to a call with your own child and that is hard”, said Monica.

She doesn’t want other families to suffer like hers, so she is speaking out to make sure people are aware of the risks of such powerful pain killers and in hopes of tighter regulations around them. The loss of a son, she said, doesn’t get any easier.

“Cole was the kind of person it didn’t matter if you spent 30 seconds with him or 30 hours you never forgot him, he had such an impact on the people he met and I think that he has left us with so many wonderful gifts and we are really thankful for that.

“I’m really sorry you didn’t get to meet him because he was a great kid, you would have loved him,” she said.

A couple of weeks later I interviewed 30 year old Amy Aubin. Amy’s battle with cancer started when she was 23. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, but after surgery had to put off further treatment when she found out she was pregnant.

Her daughter is now six years old.

In 2011 she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and then found out the original ovarian cancer had spread to her lungs.

She is currently stage four ovarian cancer and is just finishing her last treatment. She has endured years of multiple surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy and describes the last two years of treatment as “exhausting”.

Yet, she found the strength and courage to talk about her story to draw attention to cancer among young adults, saying that if you aren’t pediatric or “older” you are largely forgotten. It was so hard, she said, at the beginning when she had no one to talk to who really understood.

She wants other young adults with cancer to realize they are not alone, so she agreed to be the focus of a web series called “Valleys”.

“I really wanted to share my story just knowing that if I could help even one person who saw the story I would have made a difference” she said.

Amy emphasized that there really is no “wrong” thing to say to someone with cancer, “Even sitting there and listening to someone tell their story even if you can’t relate to it I mean that’s something that is really, really important and I don’t think a lot of people realize that”.

Watch Amy’s story

Then I went to London, Ontario to meet 37 year old Erin Zubick.

Erin suffers from diffuse scleroderma, a rare autoimmune disease in which the body turns on itself, over producing collagen — essentially scar tissue that is slowly covering her skin, veins and organs. Her lung capacity is less than 40 percent which is considered end stage lung disease.

So far though, she has defied the odds. She was told at 20 that she had seven years to live and it was unlikely she would have children.

“When I had the kids it was a dream come true,” she said. “Then it was just praying that it would get to the point that they would remember me, and then it was you know to get them to the point that they would be in school. Then I started to dream big and think maybe I’ll be able to see them go to high school. Now who knows, now hopefully I can have a lifetime.”

Her new hope is a stem cell transplant, but the treatment isn’t done for scleroderma in Canada. So, Erin has to go to a specialist in Chicago.

The Ontario medical system refuses to pay for the $125,000 treatment, saying it is experimental. That is where Erin’s friends came in. They took over and started raising money online, then held a fund raiser.

All in, they were able to collect more than one third of the cost.

Erin said it has been overwhelming: “I have just cried my way through the last month just so touched every time somebody gives, every time a stranger hears about it and gives ten dollars I just think really like that’s amazing, it’s amazing that somebody would do that for somebody they don’t even know.”

She said hers is “a story of hope and gratitude”.

These women have touched me personally. They have left a lasting impression.

Three women. Three different stories. Three words: Strong, brave, inspirational.