Dear Old Man Winter,
Well played.
You did it. Over the past three months, you’ve reminded us who’s the boss. Once again, you cranky old coot, you took hold of the weather reins and kicked our keister.
The past few winters, we disrespected you – didn’t we? They were mild with lots of chinooks. Easy to handle.
When you made an appearance, it was more “waving a fist and yelling at the clouds” than wicked windchill and wallop.
LISTEN: Gord Gillies welcomes the arrival of spring
We laughed and rolled our eyes at you. We got cocky. You just sat there wringing your hands together; planning and scheming, with a wrinkled smile on your face.
Early snow in November? Check!
Bitter cold snap when everyone had days off in December? Check!
A chinook tease in January, followed by another frigid, freezing face slap into the low 30s? Check!
And now it’s March.
It started with snow, was followed by more snow and will probably end with snow. You mixed in some fog, so we couldn’t see the devil ruts turning our neighbourhood roads into one-way streets. Do we pull over and risk a wheel alignment or play chicken and hope the other car does too?
Well played.
WATCH BELOW: 2018 Canada-wide Spring Forecast
But now it’s over. At 10:15 a.m. on March 20, spring arrives. It’s a new season. It’s time for you, old man, to hit the road. Get behind the wheel of your ’69 Biscayne and leave. We don’t care if you’re only doing 20 km/h in the passing lane – just buckle up and bye, bye.
The next time we see you, we’ll be respectful. When you’re sitting on your porch in your squeaky rocking chair, yelling at us to “stay off my lawn,” we won’t chirp back at you or laugh. We’ll give you a nod. And we won’t walk on your grass.
We can’t. It’s buried under three feet of snow.
Well played.
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