Most people in Lethbridge who have heard of Peter Millman know him as a former university track star and as the winner of multiple national championships. He’s been one of the best weight throw and shot put athletes in Canada for several years.
Millman has also been an advocate for mental health initiatives at the University of Lethbridge, but no one knew why he was so passionate about the cause until now.
“I suffer from anxiety and depression,” Millman says. “The hardest step is admitting you have a problem and things aren’t alright.”
Millman privately battled depression and anxiety for several years while starring in athletics at the university. He never told anyone how he was feeling and soldiered on by himself but it was a lonely fight he nearly lost.
“I definitely hit my low point in my third year (of university) when I decided to take my own life,” Millman says.
The same night after an unsuccessful suicide attempt, Millman called his parents knowing he could no longer fight the battle alone.
“I had to have it (help) or things were going to get a lot worse. I realize (now) how quickly they sprang into action and they were on my side,” Millman says. “I think that was the biggest thing – that it wasn’t an embarrassment, it was just that I had to be willing to talk about it.”
Since Millman’s attempt to take his own life, he had only told his family, therapist, and coach (Larry Steinke) about his depression. But that all changed on Thursday at the University of Lethbridge.
At a scholarship breakfast featuring TV personality and mental health advocate Michael Landsberg, Millman shared his story with the 350 people in attendance.
“It meant something to me because at my core, I’m just a sufferer,” Landsberg said on Thursday. “So I benefit from people around me saying, ‘Hey, me too.’ I have days when I lose my confidence and feel desperately insecure and afraid to be out talking. So when I hear someone speak (out), that gives me confidence.”
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After a year of therapy, medication and also by simply talking about his illness, Millman is now thriving. He says he’s doing “great” these days, but admits depression is still a constant battle.
“Your good days are amazing days, but the bad days are unbelievably low as well,” Millman says. “It’s about finding the balance in your life that everything sort of works… I’m much more willing to talk and that makes it a lot better.”
Millman is now a mental health advocate. He hopes that by sharing his story he can inspire others to seek help like he did.
“I do feel like it’s important for me to be someone that can come forward and talk about the issues that I’ve had in my life,” Millman says. “So hopefully other people who are suffering can also come forward and look for help. Because that’s the biggest thing, if you’re not willing to talk about it, it can’t get better.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, several resources are available. In case of an emergency, call 911 for immediate help. You can also contact the Canadian Mental Health Association’s distress line for southwestern Alberta at (403) 327-7905, or Kids Help Phone 1 (800) 668-6868.
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