Widower who lost wife Christmas Day promises ‘no one will die alone’

After 45 years of wedded bliss, there was nothing left unsaid. Alex and Merrily Paish were inseparable right until the very end.

Merrily was losing her battle with diabetes and was slowing dying. Alex kept vigil at her bedside for days and nights.

“She would be there for me, so I was there for her,” Alex said. “Did she know? I don’t know. But I knew I was there and that’s what counts.”

The holidays are particularly tough for the widower. Merrily passed away six years ago on Christmas Day.

“I asked the doctor ‘how long will this be?’ She said, ‘we never know,'” Alex remembered. “I went to sit down beside Merrily and held her hand and looked at her and I said, ‘you and I both know how long you have.’

‘You’re going on Christmas Day.’ And she did. That was her favourite day.”

Tweet This Click to share quote on Twitter: 'You're going on Christmas Day.' And she did. That was her favourite day."

Merrily was surrounded by love during her final days. It’s why Alex dedicates his time to the No One Dies Alone program. He wants to be absolutely certain nobody has to take their final breath in solitude.

“This is a time not to be alone.”

Tweet This Click to share quote on Twitter: "This is a time not to be alone."

The concept originated in Oregon. A registered nurse making her rounds wasn’t able to return in time to hold the hand of her dying patient. She created the program and in the last year, it has been adopted by Alberta Health Services. It’s a volunteer program running in Calgary hospitals.

“Our volunteers companion patients that the medical team has identified as having 48 to 72 hours left,” volunteer coordinator Diane Polesello said. “It could be parents whose children are en route and our companion comes until family arrives. And some are estranged and don’t have anybody to be with them in their final moments.”

Alex’s kids ask him how he does it. He answers calls in the middle of the night — never hesitating to head to the hospital to spend hours on end comforting dying people.

“It just feels good. I said, ‘I did it for your mother and now I’m doing it for somebody else’s mother.'”

Tweet This Click to share quote on Twitter: "It just feels good. I said, 'I did it for your mother and now I'm doing it for somebody else's mother.'"

No One Dies Alone has been running for about a year. During that time over 900 companion hours have been provided to about 100 patients.