RIVERVIEW, N.B. – For 19 years, Robert Wilson was an air traffic controller, guiding planes to a safe landing.
But five years ago, Wilson’s life changed when he woke up in the middle of the night and thought he was having a heart attack.
“They said, ‘No, no it’s not a heart attack, it’s like an anxiety attack,” he said.
Diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, his 19-year career was over. Wilson spent the next two years at home trying to look after his kids, but was gripped with resentment.
“Having an anxiety disorder where I have to take medication every day well that’s obviously not my chosen path,” he said.
But he found an outlet for his anxiety in a rather unexpected place – a groove box.
“It keeps my mind busy, it keeps my hands busy and it gives an outlet,” he said.
Wilson says producing his own techno music keeps his thoughts from drifting. He says it was an odd find, since he can’t play an instrument and doesn’t call himself very musical.
“I was always really good at mathematics which is probably no shock since I was an air traffic controller,” he said.
“So music is very mathematical and is broken down into 16 and eight beats, bars and measure and using the machines you can program things in individually.”
Techno may not seem like a musical genre suited to stress relief, but Wilson says his self-produced electronic sounds are soothing.
“There was actually a few times some of the tracks I have created myself when I was done I burst into tears cause I was so emotional,” he said.
It’s that release that makes life with a mental illness livable again, he says. Wilson is now a stay-at-home dad on permanent disability.
But his kids say their dad is “happy, just happy,” now.
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