It’s never easy to lose a loved one, but during the holiday season — a time of fond memories and family gatherings — feelings of grief can sometimes rise to the surface with impact.
That’s when the Langley Hospice Society sees an uptick in people wanting to talk about their loss. It’s part of the reason it holds a preparatory workshop in November on “coping with grief through the holidays,” said adult bereavement coordinator Stephannie Rosencrans.
“It’s a very busy time of year, maybe we’re not getting as much support from friends and family,” she told Global News. “It’s really important that people know there are services out there to provide that kind of support.”
That November workshop, which includes two sessions, connects people who are going through the same thing together in a peer support environment and provides tips on how to honour loved ones during the holidays.
Rosencrans said she’s heard of people setting a place at the table for a loved one, or setting aside time at an event to make a short speech or share a short story with friends or family.
“We do want to talk about them. We don’t want that tucked away all the time,” Rosencrans said.
She reminds the public, however, that while sharing with friends and family can be helpful, sharing is not an obligation. Neither is showing up to an event.
“Whatever feels right for you in that moment. Take that pressure off of yourself,” Rosencrans suggested. “If you do want to get out and see people, that’s okay too.”
When a person is depleted — by shopping or organizing events — strong emotions can come up, Rosencrans added. She suggested prioritizing self-care, even in small doses.
“It could just be ‘Hey, I’m going to take 15 minutes to sit out on the porch with my favourite cup of tea’, maybe a book, and just be. Not have to worry about all the expectations, anything else,” she said. “It’s important to take those moments because that can have a restorative effect.”
Shannon Todd Booth, executive director of the Langley Hospice Society, agrees.
Every year, she said about 5,000 people lean on the organization for support. All its programs and services are free and available without a referral, but during the holidays, she said more referrals tend to come in from school districts hoping to connect students and their families with supports before the holiday closure.
“We see some additional visits from even our more regular clients and even those who saw us earlier in the year and just, the holidays have brought more to light,” Todd Booth said. “Grief can resurface in different ways in a variety of milestones and the holidays are one of those.”
Todd Booth’s suggestions for navigating grief during the holidays include “asking for 100 per cent of what you want” and setting expectations with others for what you may or may not be up for during the festive season.
A list of additional resources for those grieving is available on the Langley Hospice Society’s website.
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