Episode 121: Nerves and Nookie

I’m truly disappointed. I thought Silver (or Erin, it seems) would have struck a sexier pose in her school-girl uniform. Instead, the pose she struck was one of respectability. The nerve.

Moreso, the nerve of her to overlook Dixon’s unwitting participation in the sex tape. No matter how lamentable and loathing she is of the taunts and teasing that greet her around every corner, she should remember the situation is self-inflicted. Poor Dixon only wanted a little storage room nookie, not rival Susan Boyle for Youtube views (hopefully you remember who she is, though I’m not holding my breath in this fickle and fleeting hatful of hollow known as the internet). Showing Dixon deal with the aftermath of Silver’s tape would have intensified the argument between the couple and underlined Dixon as the victim, not Silver.

Liam’s taciturn demeanour is starting to wear thin. What’s more, it’s reduced Naomi to the level of a gushing schoolgirl who giggles uncontrollably and covers her notebooks with the name of her object of affection. I realize she is technically a schoolgirl but the point of 90210 is to show the oscillation of teenagers’ emotions in this accelerated world. If I wanted to watch the average schoolgirl crush play out, I’d watch Degrassi. As it stands, there’s a fawning puddle where Naomi used to be.

From one fawner to another, are Navid and Adrianna really that in love? I know I’ve brought this up before but his decision to marry this girl and look after her child she conceived with a fellow classmate stems from wanting to pull her pony-tail in grade school. He should have just pushed her in the mud like any self-respecting 8-year-old and been done with it. Then, as he got older, he could have started spending all his spare time on the sets of his father’s adult films — a facet of Navid’s life which, incidentally, seems to have been merely a colourful, introductory detail never to be mentioned again.

Last — and definitely least — is Naomi’s nomadic sister, Jen. Look out, world: She’s rich and irresponsible and she’s not gonna take it anymore! Good thing she represents a healthy injection of pizzazz… after 21 episodes things were getting a bit stale. I can barely tolerate her impression of an egocentric whirlwind touching down upon the Wilson manor. I can sleep at night if I vanquish thoughts of her stunt with Ethan from my mind, but what was with the slow-motion strut to close out the episode? The director had guts to do that. And now, speaking of guts, I’m afraid I must empty mine all over my keyboard.