Instead of waiting for the perfect partner, 27-year-old Alyssa Garrison, known as randomactsofpastel, began shopping for the perfect sperm donor.
“I’ve wanted to be a mom for a long, long time and it kind of became this all-consuming thought that I couldn’t put out of my head,” Garrison told Global News.
“Every day I was waking up thinking about it, all day until I went to sleep.”
The Toronto woman gave herself a deadline. Shortly after she turned 27, she stopped taking birth control and spoke to her doctor about becoming pregnant.
“It kind of clicked one day, I think I wanted this baby more than I wanted the relationship.”
“So why am I trying to make all these random guys fit into this life that I want instead of just having the life and finding someone that fits it later?”
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She ended up using sperm from someone she knows. The donor signed a contract, giving up all parental rights, and agreed on total anonymity.
Garrison self-inseminated at home and is now six months’ pregnant and due in February.
“I’m feeling ready and excited. I keep waiting for the fear to creep in but so far not much.”
Taking control of pregnancy
Garrison hopes to give birth at home with her midwife, but she wants her family from Vancouver to also be there.
“It was a big fear of mine that I would be alone for the birth,” she said.
She decided to hire a doula to provide support during the delivery in case her family is unable to make it in time. Garrison hired Rhiannon Langford, founder of Birth Boss Maternity Care, in Toronto.
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“Alyssa is definitely a unique client, but in doula work, I’m starting to see that every family is super unique,” Langford said. “When someone is by themself, I offer a hands-on approach. In a birth, I’m the person holding their hands and offering those comfort measures.”
Langford said she believes hiring a doula is becoming trendier in big Canadian cities.
“I think in 2018, we’re seeing female empowerment taking this national stage and being a really big part of the global conversation,” Langford said.
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