If you are experiencing bullying and need to talk to someone, you can contact the helpline for children at Courage for Youth in Kelowna at 250-310-1234 or check out this list of resources: http://www.suicideprevention.ca/in-crisis-now/find-a-crisis-centre-now/crisis-centres/crisis-british-columbia/
Bullying sucks. There really isn’t any other way to put it, especially if you have been a victim of bullying, which I was.
In the years since grade 7, I’ve developed a thicker skin, the ability to ignore needless comments from people who don’t know any better and the knowledge that bullies are often insecure about themselves. But for that period of time in grade 7, life was hard.
I used to take the bus from my house to my junior high, where I was enrolled in an enhanced learning program. I was already a target before I got there: school bus + being an enhanced learning student = terrifying times on the way to and back from school.
It started with comments about my appearance (glasses, bad haircuts, these were the 90s after all) and how I was a loser because I was one of the “smart” kids. Every day, I dreaded getting on the bus and having to endure the 20 minute ride to school. I would be so grateful to get off the bus and inside the security of my house where I wouldn’t be able to hear what they had to say. No one ever stood up for me, not even the bus driver. I tried to stand up for myself but I was 12 years old and outnumbered.
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Although I now know their taunts and comments mean nothing, at the time, I questioned what was wrong with me and thought badly of myself. I felt helpless and alone. My parents tried to help me but it wasn’t like they could be on the bus to protect me. My teachers knew nothing about it because the kids on my school bus were in different classes and we would only ever interact on the bus. I kept my head down and tried to stay out of the way for the rest of that year. I knew my only escape would be that the bullies were graduating from grade 8 that year and I would never have to see them again.
The next school year I was free of the bullies. I remember feeling so much better about going to school and wasn’t scared to get on the bus. But I still kept my head down for fear of being a victim once again. I don’t bring this experience up to elicit sympathy but because bullying sucks. It shouldn’t make kids afraid to go to school. It shouldn’t push them over the edge like it did to Amanda Todd, who killed herself after being cyber bullied. The Internet has become the tool of choice for bullying and kids need to know they can’t get away with it.
If I could confront those bullies now, all these years later, I don’t know how I would react. I would probably be upset with them but I would also probably feel sorry for them. I can laugh it off now but it’s still a sensitive topic for me. I made it through that year and the subsequent years thanks to family, friends and the knowledge that things would get better. There were times I would curl up and cry because I hated the situation I was in, but I kept telling myself over and over that I couldn’t let the bullies win. If you have been bullied or are being bullied, if you get nothing else out of this blog post, I hope you get this: you are the bigger and better person, don’t ever let a bully tell you otherwise. And to those who say bullying is a rite of passage or a part of childhood, I say that is the most cowardly excuse.
If you are experiencing bullying and need to talk to someone, here is a list of resources:
– 1 800 SUICIDE (1 800 784-2433)
– Youth in BC: 1 866 661-3311 (toll-Free). Youth in BC is an online
crisis service, where you can chat 1-on-1 with a trained volunteer 24
hours a day.
– Aboriginal People Crisis Line: 1 800 588-8717
– Native Youth Crisis Hotline: 1 877 209-1266
– Suicide Prevention Lifeline: A free 24 hour hotline in Canada or the
U.S. 1 800 273-8255
– Kids Help Phone: 1 800 668-6868. The Kids Help Line is a national
organization offering bilingual, 24-hour toll-free confidential phone
counselling, referral and Internet services for children and youth or
their parents in English and French.
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