It may look like a regular day in the kitchen in a busy family home, but for mom Brittany Ernsperger, it is a clear reminder of what her depression looks like.
The U.S.-based mom’s photo of her stacked clean dishes on Facebook, along with her powerful message, is one example of how depression can easily take over your day-to-day routine.
She starts off by telling her followers the clean dishes was a result of a pile-up of dirty ones over a few days before.
“Three days ago I sat on the kitchen floor and stared at them while I cried,” she wrote on the social media site. “I knew they needed to be done. I wanted to do them so bad. But depression pulled me under. It sucked me in. Like a black hole. Rapidly, sinking quick-sand.”
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“I walked by them morning and night and all day long. And just looked at them. Telling myself that I could do them. Telling myself that I would. And feeling defeated every day that I didn’t,” she said. “Making the depression only that much worse because not accomplishing something that needs to be done is failure.”
She continued on saying her depression made her feel like she was worthless, a failure, a piece of sh*t, as well as stupid, incompetent and lazy.
“Being scared your husband will leave because he thinks you’re lazy. Being scared to let people into your home because they’ll think you’re nasty. Feeling like you’re failing your kids because for the third night in a row you don’t have any clean dishes to cook dinner on … so pizza it is. Again.”
Ernsperger also pointed out the depression doesn’t end with her dishes. Often she isn’t able to do laundry, clean, take a shower or dress herself.
“It all becomes a nightmare. A very daunting task. Somedays it doesn’t get done at all.”
Social media users relate
On Facebook, hundreds of people left behind stories relating to Ernsperger’s struggle.
“You are not alone. I was off work for three and a half years because of depression and anxiety. Fortunately, I was able to work through it with help and return to work now full time. Don’t give up,” user Tracey Lasook Lawrence wrote.
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“I’ve got dishes in my sink right now. I usually let them set a couple of days … wash about half and leave the rest. I’ve battled depression for most of my life … now I have a thyroid condition on top of it. I’ve gained 150 plus pounds since I was 20 and feel like I can’t get my feet under or motivated to do better. But I am working on my spiritual growth … and I’ve come a long way since my divorce five years ago,” user Emily Jean wrote.
After her post went viral, Ernsperger went on Facebook with one more message to everyone who shared.
“I wasn’t expecting this to get as much love as it has gotten. Ladies, if you’re feeling this way, send me a friend request. I’ll do my best to help you or get you the help you need. We’ll figure it out together. We can only help one another by lifting each other up. I’m here for you.”
Depression and hygiene
Depression can easily interfere with everyday life, including someone’s personal hygiene, experts say. This can include struggling to brush your teeth, take a shower or even comb your hair.
Dr. David Gratzer, a psychiatrist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto, previously told Global News this has to do with a person’s mood or energy levels.
“Often patients who are struggling with depression have difficulty with energy and motivation,” he tells Global News. “It can get difficult to do basic things like tending to personal hygiene.”
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He adds if you notice someone close you change their appearance or their daily routine, it is a good time to check in.
“Rather than making a comment on someone’s odour or how they look, it’s very important for family members to talk to their loved ones and talk to their doctors.”
arti.patel@globalnews.ca