The number of Albertans under 18 committing suicide more than doubled last year, according to preliminary data from the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner.
In 2011, the province recorded 14 pediatric suicides. In 2012, that number was 33.
“I don’t know what’s causing it, but healthy, popular kids are finding it acceptable to do this to themselves,” says Dean Williams, who lost his son Kale to suicide February 10.
“I came in and I called for Kale because I knew his car was home, I could see it out front,” recalls Kale’s mother Nicole. “He didn’t answer, and I just went downstairs and knocked on the door, and went in and he was there.”
“It was unreal. It didn’t seem real.”
Sadly, the Williams are not alone. They are among at least five other Red Deer families dealing with the suicide of a high school student this year.
“I would say it’s been an issue across central Alberta,” says Piet Langstraat, the Superintendent of Red Deer Public Schools.
In the last 12 months, the Red Deer Public School district has had four students take their own lives. Three attended the same school. All four were young men.
“They went to the same school, so undoubtedly they would have known who each other were, but they were not in the same group of young men that hung around together,” explains Langstraat, “they were all just individual cases.”
“We’ve had similar situations in our sister school jurisdictions throughout the region,” he adds.
Kale’s parents are sharing their loss with the hope that it might stop this disturbing trend.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” says Nicole. “I wish it would stop though because there are a lot of other parents that are like us who, I’m sure don’t get it, don’t understand.”
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“It’s happened to the kids you don’t expect it to,” explains Dean.
In some of these cases, the teenage victims weren’t what are usually considered ‘high risk.’ They did well in school, were popular and athletic.
Dean and Nicole say Kale was an incredibly social young man. They say he was going through a stressful time, but nothing he indicated he couldn’t bounce back from.
“It was right around final time, writing diploma exams, he was in grade 12, and I don’t know, just the stresses of life,” recalls Dean. “He never seemed to be the kind of guy to wear it on his sleeve; you never knew if he was upset.”
“He just had some issues with a couple of people so that upset him and he was bummed about it but I didn’t think anything that bad,” adds Nicole.
The Williams say the support from the community has been amazing.
“They’ve been great, both my work and Dean’s work, and people beyond,” explains Nicole.
“People we don’t even know,” adds Dean.
“It’s overwhelming,” Nicole says.
“I always thought he was a good kid. But you know as parents, you think that. Then, when something like this happens, you don’t realize…I didn’t realize how many people he touched, or impacted or knew.”
“I’m grateful, I’m grateful for everything that everyone has done,” she says.
The family hopes Kale’s death will spark more conversation about suicide and mental health issues.
“Lots of people don’t like to talk about suicide. It’s a hard topic,” says Nicole. “It’s kind of shunned too.”
“I think people just need to be more aware, there needs to be more information, more people coming into the schools and talking to the kids.”
“I kind of believe that suicide isn’t the problem, I think it’s the result,” explains Dean. “There’s something is leading to that, and that’s what has to be figured out.”
Superintendent Langstraat has been meeting with other educators across the province, along with RCMP, Alberta Health, and Child and Family Services, to figure out what resources are currently available and what more can be done.
“I would love nothing more than to have dedicated mental health individuals who were actually on site in schools,” he shares.
“I would argue that this type of work needs to start with mental health capacity building with elementary school children. I spoke with a professor from the University of Alberta this morning who said to me high school really is too late. What it’s about is building assets in young people, so talking about healthy relationships, and having a healthy body, and healthy personal thinking… beginning at a very young age,” adds Langstraat.
“It’s not education around suicide prevention, it’s around coming together to build healthy mental health strategies for all children, and then looking at the specific interventions and the connections we need with professionals in order to bring services to bear when we need to in very high risk situations.”
The Williams support the idea of mental health councilors in schools.
“Maybe Kale had trouble talking to us,” says Dean. “Maybe if he had someone that sat him down and said ‘listen, if there’s anything you need, you come and talk to me’…someone beyond arms reach.”
Looking forward, they hope sharing their story will encourage other families to come together, take time to talk openly – and often – with their children.
“I think you need to just spend more time as a family,” says Dean.
“We packed so much into our lives – work and school and hobbies and friends – we don’t decompress enough.”
“Since this has happened, our family’s spent a lot more time together. Maybe if we were doing that – less TV, less computer, less Xbox, spending more time together – maybe we would have known.”
Kale’s peers are paying tribute to him in a number of ways, including a memorial hockey game and donating High School grad committee funds to Suicide Information and Education Services. A suicide awareness Facebook page for Red Deer has also been set up.
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