Dealing with traumatic memories: Humanitarian aid worker describes the experience

Lorna Adams leapt from a comfortable life as a general practitioner in Newmarket to volunteer treating wounded, ill and traumatized people in trouble spots around the world.

After her most recent tour of duty with Doctors Without Borders in South Sudan, Jordan and Syria she discovered that she came home carrying wounds of her own.

“I thought I was doing pretty well,” she said in an interview in DWB’s Toronto office. “But my daughter would say ‘you’re not quite yourself Mom, you’re short with us. You’re not making decisions the way you normally do.’”

It came to a head during a mundane task: she was visiting a sporting goods store to buy a tarp. The owner brought out two choices, one blue, and one with a camouflage pattern. The latter brought back searing memories from her time working in a trauma hospital in Syria, where the doctors often had to cut bloody camouflage clothing off fighters who had suffered gruesome injuries.

“I just burst into tears, started crying and sobbing. I looked at the man and he didn’t know what happened,” she said, admitting that even now speaking about it made her anxious.

Given the nature of the work, DWB is aware of the dangers posed to the mental health of its physicians and other field workers.

They often see horrible things in war torn nations, an obvious risk for psychological trauma.

Professional, psychological counselling is made available after a deployment. There is also a peer support program in which a volunteer returning home receives a call from someone who has experience working in the field— a call just to ask if the person needs to talk.

“Someone who, crucially, has been in your shoes before, who can empathize with you in a way that your friends and family can’t at this point,” said Meredyth Bowcott, a human resources specialist with MSF.

Lorna Adams said she did not have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but she did have trouble adjusting and needed help.

“There’s a need to recognize that asking for someone to talk to about how you’re feeling is a good thing, as opposed to a weak thing,” she said. “Because we see a lot of troublesome things.”

Now she is ready to leave Canada for her next deployment but nerves have become a factor.

“I think I have appropriate nervousness,” she said. “The more I do, the more I learn and the better I’m able to cope.”