John Oliver takes jabs at Stephen Harper with help from Mike Myers
TORONTO – Comedian John Oliver spent 15 minutes of his half-hour late night comedy show Sunday night lambasting the Canadian federal election, the three main party leaders and controversial riding candidates, while also bringing out “one of Canada’s finest sons” to denounce Stephen Harper.
On Last Week Tonight, Oliver reminded the American audience on the importance of its neighbour to the north.
“Canada, the country you think about so little, that’s it. End of sentence,” Oliver quipped.
“But that’s a shame. Canada is an important country. They are our largest trading partner. The U.S.-Canadian border is the longest in the world.”
Oliver then poked fun at the length of the current election campaign, which is historically the longest ever.
“Thinking 78 days is a long campaign is absolutely adorable. It’s like a woman who has only ever seen one penis and saying, ‘That’s the longest one ever’,” he said.
Oliver then made fun of the controversies surrounding several riding candidates.
The Conservatives booted candidate Jerry Bance after it was revealed he had urinated in a client’s coffee mug after being hired as a contractor in 2012.
“That is absolutely disgusting. Although it is surprising Canada is so shocked about urine in a mug considering that’s exactly what Labatt Blue tastes like,” Oliver said.
NDP candidate Alex Johnstone famously said she didn’t know what Auschwitz was, after she received criticism for making a penis joke about a friend’s Facebook photo of a fence post at the site of the Nazi concentration camp.
“This makes you wonder who is running the schools up in Canada,” said Oliver.
“That would explain why their history curriculum includes the textbook, ‘Poland 1939-1945: Things That Look Like Dicks, Mainly.’”
Election 2015: Last-minute voters’ guide
Before steaming rolling Stephen Harper, Oliver ridiculed NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair over his slip in the polls and a speech in which he used his name to talk about health care, child care and pharmacare.
“I understand you’re talking about your policies, but change visually does not look like Paul Giamati’s uncle reading a rhyming dictionary.”
Oliver then followed up with a video of a political analyst touting Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau’s emotional intelligence compared to the political savvy of his late father Pierre Elliot Trudeau.
“That is a kind of made up quality that you might find on a report card from a Montessori school,” Oliver joked.
“Well done, Zaden. You got a squirrel on emotional intelligence. But on actual intelligence, you got a frowning walrus which is a F.”
Election 2015: How do I vote?
When it finally came to Stephen Harper, Oliver remained steadfast in his attacks against the Conservative leader.
“Don’t be deceived by his bland exterior. Where there is banality there is evil,” he told the audience.
“For instance, Harper’s government has passed numerous laws weakening Canada’s environment protection, they have scaled back health care for some refugees – which a federal court called cruel and unusual – and Harper himself has taken an extremely strong position on marijuana.”
“Are you high? Marijuana is not worse that tobacco. The only context which that is true is aesthetic.”
The Conservative government’s controversial stance on the niqab also drew Oliver’s attention as he showed a video of Harper during a French language debate, saying he would never tell her daughter that a woman should cover her face because she’s a woman.
“If Stephen Harper’s daughter is covering her face, it’s probably because she understandably does not want to be seen in public with Stephen f**king Harper.”
Oliver also wasn’t too keen on an Elections Canada rule that states it is illegal for people not living in Canada to influence Canadians on how to vote. Anyone found doing so can be fined $5,000, given a six-month jail term or both.
“I would love to tell the people of Canada to vote Stephen Harper out of office but unfortunately, and this is amazing, it’s against Canadian law,” he said.
“That is a ridiculous law and I guess what you’re saying Caanda is, ‘You want to dance?’ because if you want to dance Canada, bring your best move cause it’s nearly midnight and Johnny’s got his dance on.”
Oliver proceeded to bring out $5,000 cash from under the show’s desk to prove his seriousness.
However, the late night host won’t likely face any sort of fine or punishment.
Elections Canada told Global News “the expression of personal political views by Canadians or non-Canadians as to which parties or candidates they support is not an offence under the Act.”
Oliver ended the segment on the election by bringing out comedian Mike Myers dressed as a Mountie riding a snow plow.
“I love Canada. But the fact that it has a law banning outsiders from telling Canadians how to vote is one of the least Canadian things possible. Oh, and don’t vote for Stephen Harper,” said Myers.
That was followed by a quick exchange between the two.
Oliver: Exactly. Don’t do it and I’ll tell you why. Stephen Harper doesn’t care about black people.
Myers: Oh God. Not again.
Oliver: What I meant to say was, “Stephen Harper doesn’t care about Muslim people.”
Myers: Totally fair. I think he made that pretty clear.